Living with Sarah

End of the years is always called the holiday season, or the "holidays". Yea right, I've been working every day for the last 2 weeks including weekends and Christmas holiday. Last week I despised all those Christmas and New Year wishes. Tension gila. And I am still working this weekend. Tomorrow is Hari Raya Aidiladha, the day after is New Year, but I have to work! This stupid content job! So, here I am slaving away in front of this stupid notebook. There are some strange sounds coming out, it might be a matter of days before this machine got knocked out. I can imagine my mother at home now cooking nasi impit and rendang. Good thing my sister-in-law Azah is around. Tapi kesian diaorang. We won't be going back to Melaka. Hurray! Hubby works too. He's partially responsible for this mess I'm in. Tu la, dulu tak nak approve content, dok procrastinate. Kira banyak sangat la kerja lain nak buat. Penat I bebel tau. Dah la I ni bukan jenis bebel, so I really hate myse...

Here are some pictures. I'm having vertigo so I'm writing in a daze. I seem to be sailing in a boat, in a very bad weather... Maybe my ears are giving problems again. Sarah at the porch playing bunga api. Yes, she still has some leftovers from Raya. I have only a few plants from the old house, those are at the corner. See that brown stool? That was hand-made by my late grandfather. It was green but I've painted it brown. I took it with me to my apartment in Puchong, then back to my old place and now it's here. Punya lah tahan, bagus betul orang dulu-dulu punya skills. I love that little piece of furniture. Reminds me of him. My living room. You are looking at a Monaza set of sofa. Don't play-play! Ever since my previous company gave out bonuses, I've never ever spent a single sen. I bought unit trust and save up here and there. To celebrate moving to this new place, I sold that unit trust yang tak berapa untung tu and bought some furniture - this sofa set, a din...

I've been stuck with this content work for months. Mana taknya, kejap-kejap tukar direction, pas tu after a few weeks tukar balik. Dah elok-elok amend the affected articles, tukar direction again. Woi, bila nak habis? Macam ni towkey kedai emas pun boleh tutup! (Let's see, what's the connection between writing content and kedai emas...?). In few words - dah nak muntah tengok content ni lahhh.... This has been a challenging project. My team of writers - from doing full-time, sampai ada yang dah dapat kerja, ada yang dah tak nak buat, ada yang dah tak reti buat, ada yang tangkap muat, last-last akak jugak kena habiskan. Letih, letih. Kalau orang lain, dah give up kot. Anyway, I'm submitting all by next week and get a sign off. Lepas tu, nak tukar direction pegi left, right, down suka hati korang lah. Buat lah sendiri ye. If you want me to do the changes, I will charge! Eksyen tak I? Eksyen kan. Macam lah lepas ni ada project lain. Apa lah I nak buat come January? I'm ...

What a weekend. Penat gila. After days of madness of wrestling furniture, boxes, bags and dust, we finally successfully moved to our new home. My whole body aches. My nose is stuffed with dust - I need to get medication. But it's all worth it. We finally live in a place we can call "home". There are a lot more to be done. The water-heater is still at the old place. The phone lines have yet to be transferred. But the house is "liveable". Yang penting Astro dah transfer! I hope Sarah will be healthier at the new place. A bigger place, better air. For me, I finally have this peace of mind - no more stupid chickens ruining my chilli plants! I can do my gardening in peace. And I can save up on rat poisons. Yes, I am guilty of slowly and steadily murdering my neighbour's chickens! They mess up my plants, I mess up their intestines. Every time my precious plants get ruined, I will mix a nice portion of leftover rice with rat poison and put them around my pots. Next...

I'm in this really disappointed mood. Tension betul. Gaji tak masuk. Pas tu tak reti-reti nak inform. Aku ni dok la check bank balance. Just tell la kan. Apa yang susah sangat? While I'm in this tension mood, nak ngomel sikit pasal the hot issue nowadays - Rufaqa. I'm no expert of course but my 2nd sister and her hubby are followers. I've always been neutral - suka hati kau lah kan nak follow but then lately things started to unfold that make me really angry. Yesterday's newspaper kata apa - Rufaqa has like RM9mil plus of turnover? Banyak tu! Let me just give one small reason - pasal diaorang memang tak reti-reti nak bayar gaji orang. Everything is done on the basis of "contribution". Contribute energy to a corporation for free company mana yang tak kaya. But these people memang suka perah tenaga orang. I have 3 nieces who didn't finish school and are now baby-sitters at their nurseries. They only get place to live and food. Food pun tak tentu actually...

Lamaaaanya tak tulis entry. Very, very the busy. My project at the client's office has started to scare me. Bulan lepas macam tak ada kerja sangat, so la-la-la-la je lah. This month and December will be hectic rasa macam tak cukup masa nak siapkan. Anyway, nak recall story about Sarah's concert on 18 November. In her message book, she's supposed to be in choir. So, that morning I woke up at 6.15am. I was so anxious, suspen. Padahal yang nak perform not me. Apa la... Dah siap iron her school uniform, kapur her school shoes, etc. By 8am Sarah was ready with her crisp uniform, ultra white shoes and socks and loads of make-up. Yes, we mothers are supposed to put on make-up on our kids. I sent her to KUIS auditorium and then went back. Hubby came at 9.30am to pick me up (he's at this exhibition at Marriot) and off we went to watch our daughter's very first concert. Sarah is a very shy child, so I expected her to act the same on stage. The auditorium was full maybe about ...

It's been a busy week so far. Penat. So today I'm in my malas-malas mood. Settled most urgent matters in the morning and now putting my feet up and relax. We had our 3 days training in KL from 13th to 15th. Not so good turn-up - it's after Raya so most probably people are simply too pre-occupied with open houses and kuih rayas, and it's also end of the year and most the feedback we got was - "budget dah habis la". But we still went ahead. The profile this time was even more impressive - we got one from Brunei, 2 from Sabah and a few other outstanding agencies. Alhamdulillah. As usual, when it comes to training, food is always on the agenda. I ate at the hotel on Monday, went to work at client's place on Tuesday and ate crappy food, and went back to the hotel on Wednesday hoping to savour my favourite dessert - bread & butter pudding with vanilla sauce. Tapi hampa... Apparently, there is this Bollywood film festival here in KL (amidst the UMNO assembley...

I have been having ear-ache for the past week. Terrible, sampai demam and migrain. Had one last week, then another one yesterday. Hubby kesian and took the trouble to rush me to an ENT specialist. He then had trouble with his boss as the boss sms back saying "sending wife to clinic doesn't comply for emergency leave", but then his love for his wife obviously over-ride his love for his boss so he just ignored. What I found out is that most specialist do part-time work at all these small clinics - most of them are available at certain hours of the day or by appointment only. We found a few in Kajang but then the doctors are only available at night. Finally found one clinic with the shortest waiting time - after lunch. So we waited for a few hours. Anyway, before this hubby was the one who "treated" my ear-ache. He used a small torchlight and actually cleaned my ears. He said there's a big pimple in my ear. Punya lah sakit, macam the ones you normally get righ...

I've become a blog addict - to these few blogs. I'm a daily reader of Suhaimi Sulaiman's blog. Sometimes, I even read his blog first before I read any news websites. I just love his postings - he is funny, brilliant, down-to-earth and cute! Hehehe... I also frequent Fiebie's blog. So funny he can really make your day, though I cringe when he curse, ouch! Other blogs I read are mostly work and interest related. I try not to read too much blog as I can get really carried away and end up not working. You can read one blog, then move on to another, then to another. It's like chain-reaction. You read about these strangers you don't even know, getting to know their thoughts, their lives, their friends and in the end, you feel as if you know those people. Amazing kan. Anyway, I always wonder if there are people out there who read my blog. When I started this, my intention was to record my thoughts about my life with my little daughter, then I added personal thoughts ...

Finally, kepala I terus rasa banyak space and less semak-samun. Why? Because we are going to move to a new house in Seri Putra next month. Here's the history, after we got married in 2000, hubby and me moved to our apartment in Puchong. After I gave birth to Sarah, we moved back to my parents' place. Then in May 2003, we moved to my father's rumah sewa a few kilometres away bringing along our stuff from Puchong apartment. The house is very small - with only 2 rooms. Now that Sarah is growing and growing, her stuff has grown proportionately too. Rumah tu punya la banyak barang kepala selalu semak dibuatnya. At first we wanted to just stay there until our new house in Seri Putra siap in 2008, but then one day I felt too stressed out that I told hubby let's go find a bigger house as I couldn't stand staying in a bursting-to-the-rim house. Surprisingly he said OK. So, we have found the perfect house - 4 rooms - really big for us and the rent is affordable. Best gila ras...

Time flies. Rasa baru je cuti raya, dah start kerja balik. Back to the real world. I'm putting photos here. Mood tak ada lah. Got a story to tell, also later lah. Wana, Wani and Sarah pasang pelita malam tujuh likur. Wana, Wani, Sarah and their Abang Ijam. The eldest cousin with the youngest ones. My brother-in-law Abang Din, hubby and my father. My father pakai samping glamer, dapat hadiah kat masjid. Sarah with her Pak Ngah. It was a good Raya. Went to visit some old mak ciks and wans and atoks. Sedih la jugak when the old people you know dah tua, sakit and even nyanyuk. Wan Ramah, who used to stay near my mom's place, is now 95 years old. When I was in college, my parents used to visit my sister in JB and spent their weekends there. Wan Ramah would come over to our house to accompany me. Around 6.30pm, she would come over with her bag filled with telekung and change of clothes. I think she must have been 80+ then. She said takut I duduk rumah sorang-sorang, mana lah tau. Mas...

It's Sarah's birthday. She's 5 years old today. Dah besar... Sometimes rasa tak percaya that I have a daughter. I mean, there are many things in life that I know how to do, but there are millions of other things in life that I really don't know how to do like sewing, ironing, cleaning the house, cooking difficult-and-time-consuming Malay food, etc. But taking care of a child until she's now this big? Wow... that's an achievement!. Now that she's this big, this bright, this talkative, this beautiful and this good-natured and good-hearted, perhaps I've done a fairly good job... I've successfully raised a child! Sarah opening her birthday presents The day is still early. We have not even bought her cake yet. Since it's Ramadhan, we didn't buy a cake for her to celebrate at school. It's also her assessment period so better not kacau the teachers and other kids. Yes! Assessment as in EXAM. She's only 5 and she has exams. Even that I've...

I usually don't drive to KL. Many, many reasons why - reduce pollution, save money on petrol, toll, parking... However, the most important reason is because KL drivers are crazy. The moment they sit behind the wheels, tanduk setan started to grow and they become totally different people. I'm not going to elaborate on that. So, my main mode of transportation to the city is the train, usually the KTM Komuter. It takes about 45mins to 1 hour to reach KL from Bangi. That is a long, long time to spend on a train. Itu pun if the train behave that day. The KTM Komuter has this really bad reputation - the trains are never on time, slow, always break down... But like it or not, I always have to take them. I always bring a book to read on the train. Last year I read 14 books from May to December - all on the train. This year kurang sikit because I don't take the trains that often. To and fro I spend about 2.5 hours travelling, ample time to do the readings. When they say Malaysians r...

Hubby planned a secret rendevous just the two of us to Alamanda to buy Sarah's presents. Her birthday is this 19th - Thursday. So, yesterday afternoon we dropped Sarah at my mother's place and spent the next 4 hours finding her presents. Actually Sarah has told us what she wanted so buying them was not that difficult. At first, she only wanted chewing gum. That's it! (I told Afu and Aimy and they really laughed their heads off). I asked her what she really, really want for her birthday and she actually said "chewing gum". Lain? "Chewing gum je," she said. (Punya la baik anak aku ni). She has always wanted to chew gum but we didn't let her. Nanti messy, kena kat baju satu hal pulak. After much insistance and arguments, hubby finally said she can but when she turn 5 years old. So, naturally that's what she wants for her birthday. Then she saw the Barbie doll I bought for Wani and she added another item to her wish list: chewing gum and Barbie doll ...

It was a weekend of gastronomic pleasure, well, actually more of binge on food like no tomorrow. It started on Saturday with our annual buka puasa session with Zameen and his little family. For 3 years in a row, we had it at the Islamic Arts Museum restaurant. Excellent food, excellent place. The main attractions - lamb herbs and meatballs, and poached salmon. Like Zameen always said, "Makan salmon tu je dah break even!". They serve the salmon whole and we dig like crazy. Come to think of it, we go there every year and watch each other's child grow. I remember when we booked the table with 2 high chairs. Then last year there was Mohram playing music and both our kids - Sarah and Syafiq Aiman stood up on the table and dance. This year they have grown up - Sarah is 5, Aiman is 4. They are almost the same height. This year no dancing on the table though. Both were so shy-shy cat. Then both fathers took out their PDAs and the kids started to scribble and compare each others...

I have this old scale near the bathroom. The plastic that covers the numbers dah tercabut, so I drew a black line with a pen to replace the indicator. Since I more or less know how much I weigh, I adjusted the needle so that it is +2kg. So, all these while Sarah is always about 18kg. But then yesterday at Dr Wong's clinic, she actually weighs 16+kg, not 18. Hmm... so that means, the old scale is actually correct! And that also means that I am actually not 6Xkg (biarlah rahsia...)! Hah! I've lost weight.

Angah, my sister-in-law who got married last June is now pregnant. Yes, good news. But bad news is that, she's now having that horrrible terrible morning sickness just like what I had last time. She was hospitalized for 4 days for dehydration and then fever. Kesian kat dia. I know exactly how it feels. I told her, "Akak tak de advise for you, because I experienced the same thing and there 's nothing in this world to make it feel better". Looking at her just brings back the memories of 5 years back when I was pregnant with Sarah. The morning sickness started at 2 months and lasted the whole 9 months. Yes, I was one of those what, 10% of women who are sick for their whole pregnancy. I was hospitalized for 2 days je but then I had to take 1 month unpaid leave because I was so sick. Everything I ate came out, even water. I slept the whole day. Covered the windows with towels so that the room became dark - I couldn't stand daylight because sakit kepala. Then sleep unti...

I was on the way to send Sarah to school yesterday when I heard on Era discussions about minimum salary one should be getting. It's the morning topic and the two deejays where receiving phone calls and also reading SMSes. As predicted, when it comes to salary, nobody would say that they get enough. There was one lady who lives in JB citing that she gets only RM900 of basic salary and she's been working for her company for 8 years with only about RM20 increment a year - itu pun for the last 2 years tak ada increment. The SMSes being read were all complaints that salaries are just not enough. There are lots to pay - house rent, car loan, and many others don't know what. In summary - nobody was satisfied. Now tell me - who in their right mind would say their salary is enough? Everybody would say they deserve more. The more you get, the more you believe you deserve! Why? Because the more you get, the more you spend, the less balance you have end of the month. When the balance i...

Sarah is fast approaching her 5th birthday. Only 5? The way she acts she's like way, way older than that. And she's showing all these characteristics that some, you can point out where she got the from, while the others you really wonder where she inherit them from. Perfectionist: she's a Libran but she is a perfectionist. Yesterday she showed me her Barbie sticker book and complained about Wani, her cousin. She said Wani took 2 stickers from the middle section. Wani was supposed to take from the bottom section first. Now the page has 2 missing stickers right in the middle and she really hates that because the stickers are now not in order. - I think she got that from me. I'm a Virgo, though I'm not a true perfectionist, I really hate it when things are not in order. I would arrange things when I pass through. I would not sit in peace until a certain crooked furniture is straighten. Now I'm not that picky anymore but it's scary to see Sarah is beginning to a...

It's the 2nd day of Ramadhan. I have stomachache. I'm not the kind of person who eat sahur actually. If it's puasa ganti or sunat, it'll be simply a glass of milk. But hubby is a sahur person. So, have to cook rice and some lauk. So, this morning I had this terrible stomachache. Lesson well learned - tomorrow onwards only feast on light food for sahur. Sarah cut school today - I felt so lazy to send her in this condition, so she's at the office with me. Anyway, now that I dah semakin rajin use my camera-phone and download the photos to my laptop, here're some exclusive photos of Dextra Resources office. Small, cozy, comfy... The view from the entrance. That's Linda, our admin assistant on the left. My office. I got a stack of UAT scripts in the box to process. Those are Sarah's legs under the table. I don't know what she's doing down there! I have a treadmill in my office. Niat di hati nak exercise. It's collecting lots of dust as predicted. ...

A year older and hopefully wiser. My birthday was on Wednesday but it doesn't feel like a birthday at all. That day was the 2nd day of Dextra workshop on enhancing website. We have 13 participants and I wanted to spend the day networking. Like the day before, we sent Sarah to my mother's place - in her pyjamas, then off to KL with hubby. For 3 days this week my father sent Sarah to school as I have to get to KL before 8.30am. Poor Sarah, I didn't even get to dress her up for her school photo shoot. The crowd at the workshop was good. We even have a few outstation participants. They looked like they enjoyed themselves and learned a lot! Met an old acquaintance, made some new friends, everybody looked comfortable and at ease. I updated company accounts and guess what - Dextra made RM14K this month on trainings only. What an achievement for a 2-person company! For the first-time in a few months I felt so relieved. This month has been productive so far. With 2 trainings, 1 pre...

Confirmed. Haruki Murakami is the greatest living novelist in the whole wide world. I'm now re-reading Norweign Woods. Now half-way through. And I still marvel at the beautiful words he uses to describe things, at the simple yet thought-provoking technique he uses to tell his story and more importantly, how at peace one feels when reading his books. The book is considered by many as his autobiography. Perhaps. But what makes it interesting is the way his story hits you at your heart. How similar your thoughts and feelings can be like he is actually telling a story about you. Once he talks about dusk - how dusk is the time that he feels the most lonely. I feel that too. When the sun is setting, you know Maghrib is approaching, the day is ending and night is falling - that is the time I hated most. I often spend such time at home, sitting on the plastic stool on the porch of my house and reflecting. About a lot of things... And that is the time that I feel really, really lonely, it s...

I never thought that one day I would cry on the shoulders of my little girl. Literally. And for such tiny shoulders, it was the most comforting feeling I've ever experienced. Things happened. I was so stressed out, miserable and sad. Sarah looked confused. I felt guilty she had to witness it all. I called her to me and tried to explain. I didn't know where to start. She simply looked at me, smiled and cocked her head to one side. She looked so cute. She tried to cheer me up. Then the fort I've been holding just went crashing down. I cried, told her about what happened and how could her Abah did that to me. She then came close and hugged me. Her hands were in my hair and she pulled me close to her chest. I cried like crazy and then only realised that I was literally crying on her shoulders. She didn't say much. She let me talk. When I looked at her face I saw that she had tears in her eyes, but she's not crying. She smiled as if trying to say that things are going to...

What a week, what a month! I'm not talking about myself or my little buddle of joy, I'm talking about our TV stations. I mean putting Mawi & Ina in front of live camera and getting them to pour their hearts out was a bit too much. OK, I'm not a fan of Mawi. He's full of hype and Meastro is milking his sweat (and so-so voice) like nobody business. What aura? I fail to see him glowing any spark of interest. (My Kak Long will kill me for this remark!) And as for Ina - Ina who? What has become of our local entertainment industry? Anybody and everybody can now be a writer and singer as long as you are connected (or previously connected) to someone popular. I heard the interview on radio, after about 2 minutes of corny love stories (oh, he's my first love and I can never forget him - what crap!) I switched stations. The best description of Ina's interview was like what Aimy's husband said: "Dia bukan saja memalukan diri sendiri tapi memalukan semua orang...

Ok, another posting bitching about my mother-in-law. And I'm not sorry. I need to let this out because I felt so guilty being angry at Sarah when in fact I was actually angry at someone else. Sarah doesn't eat much. She is very skinny, but very tall for her age. Dr Wong says Ok, so we are not really worried. Anyway, this incident happened last June after my sister-in-law's wedding. It was the day after the wedding and I was having breakfast in the kitchen with the rest of the clan. A lot of people were there - I was having this motherly conversation with Nor about food, nutrition and stuff. Angah and our new addition to the family were there too, with Kili, Siti and the rest including my mother-in-law. I remember hubby was not there. It was a good conversation with Nor and at the end of our talk, I remarked about Sarah and said something like "Sarah tu dah la kurus kering!". It was a joke between us and suddenly out of the blue my mother-in-law made a nasty remar...

I really don't understand people. Right after you get married, people will ask you when you'll be having a baby. Try delaying having a baby and people start talking. Then, when you finally have a baby, they will ask when the next one's coming. Try delaying having the next one and they talk nasty. 3 years later, if you still don't have the second one, they will start to give you these nasty looks - as if you are doing something wrong. 4 years down the road and no baby in sight, they will still talk nasty and give you a pity look - as if you fail as a woman. I really don't get it - What is bloody wrong with having only one child? Some people want lots of kids, some people want only 2, and it really amazed me that those are acceptable by the society. But having only one kid is like out of the norm. Worst - it's like a sin! It really makes me angry that people can't accept other people's choices. I have my mother-in-law saying nasty things behind me about us...

We stopped sleeping on a proper bed when Sarah was about 6 months old. One night she almost fell off the bed and since then we sleep on just the mattress. About 2 years ago we bought a single bed mattress and put it beside our queen-size mattress. That's a huge sleeping space for the 3 of us. While the smaller mattress is supposed to be for Sarah, she always ends up sleeping with me. No matter how big the space is, eventually she would seek me out and huddle next to me. Hubby will either sleep on the smaller mattress, or more often than not, on the comforter in front of the TV. Hmm... not a good sleeping arrangement for a married couple. However, I just love sleeping with Sarah. She smells so good, she sleeps like an angel. I often spend my insomniac time watching her sleeping, listening to her breathing, sometimes catching her little laugh or smile while she's dreaming. At times when she abruptly wakes up, I will always be beside her to comfort her. We are always hugging each ...

Finally, a colleague and good friend of mine Raschit got married. The reception was last Friday night at the Grand Bluewave Hotel, Shah Alam. So, who is this Raschit guy? A very colourful person I must say. I've worked with him for years and over the time, I've come to know this wonderful man quite well. He's from Myanmar, dark skinned, a bit short, a bit plump, a true gentleman, a devout Muslim, an excellent project manager, a good friend, well-liked and quite funny. It's amazing that for a foreigner, he blended very well with our culture and one would almost always forget that he's not a Malaysian. And talk about differences in culture, Raschit's beautiful bride has Malay-Irish blood. And being graduates of UIA, the result was a truly colourful and international wedding reception. As I walked into the room, there are people of various nationalities, skin colour and religion. I could hear multiple-languages being spoken. We were greeted by his friends I believe...

Life really is a cycle. One time you are up, and the next thing you know you are crushed. I started working in 1995. Let's forget the nightmare of being a teacher - my first "real" job was as a sub-editor with Computimes. I was paid around RM1K+. It was good pay for me especially after finishing university and having no debt or mortgage. Life was really good then with nothing serious to think about. It was only work and work and more work. After work will be eat outs or movies. That's about it. After that the credit cards started to come, and then car loan, plus other stuff like life insurance. My second job paid me quite well (at that particular time). End of the month there will still be enough for little things like a new blouse or pair of shoes. Then disaster striked. The economic downfall. My RM2K++ was reduced to only RM250 for about 6 months. After that was unemployment for about a couple of months. Imagine surviving on only that. Life was tough then. Then thin...

I got an SMS from my sister this afternoon. It said "Hani Mohsin died of stroke". I'm now so used to receiving pranks, I decided to brush it away. After all, I watch this guy on "Roda Impian" every evening with Sarah. It's a good show to expose her to spelling and reading Malay words. In fact, we watched the show last night and he was in pretty good health. I then decided to check the gossip website and saw that there already pages of postings on that. It confirmed the news with a few forumers even citing reading it on online newspapers. Innalillahi wainnalillahirajiun... He really is dead. And so young, only 41 years old. And what made me sad was that he died while catching a flight north with his 9 year old daughter, apparently for a holiday. If that is not tragic enough, then pray tell me what else can be that tragic. Oh, there's another death in the news today about the Pahang princess (old one) who got stabbed by her own son and died. Royalty and fi...

Watched this movie last weekend on HBO. I expected a comedy of slapstick where this young, ambitious woman struggles with the huge task of raising 3 kids - the usual comic spills of food on expensive clothes while clumsily getting ready for work with 3 brats getting in the way. Well, there were such instances in Raising Helen , however, it was surprisingly touching and unexpectedly good. The movie reminded me of a German movie I watched months back on more or less the same plot - how a woman "inherited" kids after her sister died in a car accident. I'm not going to really talk about the movie, more on the emotions derived from it. One - hubby actually turned to me and said, "Now I understand how you feel, to have lost your independence after the birth of our child". For the past 5 years I have been kind of "trapped" in this role of being a mother - no more late night teh tarik sessions with friends at Bangsar stalls, no more mid-night movie shows... A...

Sarah missed school for 3 days last week - alternate days. She also missed school last Wednesday. As she's still in pre-school, I was not very strict. Better to just let it be then forcing her to go to school. She gave several reasons - tired, sleepy, not well... Then she told us that her classmate, a boy named Norhan, always scolds her. Whatever her reasons, I personally believe it's merely laziness. I think she has reached that cycle in her school life - the laziness stage. I think she will be a little bit lazy for the next few weeks, then things will start to pick up again - when she finds something interesting at school. So, I'm just letting it be. But one thing about her, she really knows how to make her Mommy relents to her. Wednesday morning, I lied down beside her waiting her to finish up drinking her milk. She dozed up a bit. It was still early so I just let her sleep for a while. Then I heard sniffing sounds. I switched off the fan thinking she was cold. But the s...

The only words to sum up this book is - mixed feelings. I can't really say I've enjoyed reading it, but I can't really say it didn't stir any emotions because it really did. It's simply - mixed!. I picked up Never Let Me Go after seeing it was listed under must-read books. And after Kafka on the Shore, I'm a sucker for Japanese writers. It was written by Kazuo Ishiguro - the author of The Remains of the Day, which I actually have not read. The style of writing is a bit dreary in the sense that the character, Kathy H, would be telling her story and actually touch about something and say she would elaborate it in a short while. After 2-3 "incidents" of this, I actually got sick of that style of story-telling. I mean, just tell. You don't have to tell me you will tell me about it soon. But then again, Kathy H is a clone, so maybe that's the way her mind works. In the end, the whole story is a bit disturbing. It made me wonder whether there really...

Remember how Sarah's teacher said she's a poor reader? Ok, we picked up Sarah's report card about 2 weeks ago. Met Nancy, Sarah's teacher. It was all candies and roses for Sarah - she got number 5 out of 19 children. That is way, way beyond my expectatation. The feedback from the teacher was that she's good in every ways just that her handwriting is so slanted the teacher doesn't know what else to do, and she reads her Ladybird books so softly the teacher couldn't hear her. We know how good she reads now as at home and she usually read at the top of her voice. But she's a shy girl, so we were not really complaining. But then we saw the reading chart and Sarah's name has no stars on it, not even Book 1A. So, back home we coached Sarah to read - must read clearly and loudly. And the result? A few days later she came back with these big red stars drawn on her hand along with some cartoon stamps. Apparently she read Books 1A and 1B on one go and she...

Aimy said I " cari pasal ". Many times for the past few weeks, I told myself how right she is. Now, alone in this office of mine, I wonder whether what I'm putting myself into is worth it. It started in mid-April. I finally took up the courage to take Dextra Resources Sdn Bhd to a new level - a full-fledge company with an office and staff. Armed with my little capital I saved up for the past few years, I started with renting an office here at Section 15 Bandar Baru Bangi. Very strategic location. First floor, an office apartment so I don't have to spend any dime on renovation or even partitions. Convenient place, just 10 minutes from my home. I hired an old school friend from my Yayasan Selangor days, Linda, as an office administrator. Bought office furniture and other equipment. Dextra takes up the living room and the master bedroom. I have my own office now with my dream black leather director's chair. I also have Sarah's table and chair for her to do her wo...

It took me ages to finish reading up this book. One, I don't travel much by train the past few weeks. Two, I don't really like the book. Which is a bit puzzling because so many people actually like it. More puzzling because I love the Italian landscape, Italian food and find the language very sexy. I think it's because I compared it with the movie. I saw the movie in bits and pieces and I was intrigued by it. Maybe Diane Lane has got a lot to do with it. A beautiful woman against a beautiful scenery, that simply sells. And to add to that the m arvellous cooking with lots of extra virgin olive oil and fresh herbs picked from the backyard. There were too much of construction going on in the book with unappealing description. The movie on the contrary potrays the construction work in a more "acceptable" manner. That's what I think. To me, book adaptation to movie usually end in disaster except for the rare few. More often than not, the book will always be better ...

Yes, I still hate them...

One morning last week, Sarah's teacher Nancy spoke to me about Sarah not having the Ladybird books set. She said that every day she loans Sarah her book. And because Sarah doesn't have those books, she couldn't practise much and as a result, her reading is very poor. All the other kids are graduating to Book 2A, whereas Sarah is still stuck with Book 1A. I was actually quite stunned and angry at the same time. Hello, it's already May and now only the teacher's telling me about this. Hubby and I thought the books were optional. My impression was that there is this set of books at school for all to read, and if we parents want our kids to practise reading at home, we are "highly encouraged" to buy the books. So, I was wrong. Everyone has to have the books. But what striked me was how the teacher emphasised that there're prizes at the end of school term for kids who are good in reading. So? Sarah just started schooling this year. I don't expect her to...

Last Friday Sarah went for her very first school trip - to Aquaria KLCC. The days before that I was again in my state of anxiety. Oh my, another huge milestone. She'll be going at this place with her friends and teachers - without me! She was so excited. She told us with whom she will be sitting, with who she will be walking... Both hubby and me gave her lots and lots of advise and the one being reminded almost everyday was - do not go anywhere on your own, make sure you hold your friend's hand all the time. Anyway, the D-day came. I sent her off to school and spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning up my new office with Linda, and old friend who will be working for me as an admin officer. I checked my watch almost every 15 minutes, wondering silently what she must be doing at that very moment. I went over to fetch her but missed the school van by seconds. I wanted to surprise her but the van beat me to it. Darn. Anyway, met her back at my mom's place. She looked tired but...

Ever since I started working from home, I've been catching up with watching Oprah Winfrey Show. As I said before, I have never been a fan. But I have this huge admiration for this beautiful woman. While I'm not hooked on to the show, I'll watch it when there's interesting topics of discussion. I'm starting an Oprah sections for this blog. So, this morning was a show on reflections. Oprah invited her key production team to the show - her producers - and each of them talked about their most memorable episodes that each of them produced. It was such an amazing show - the producers talked about their work behind the scenes, about the people whom they invited, their experience... As usual there were footages of the previous episodes. The show featured people from all backgrounds - from celebrities (the famous jumping on the couch by Tom Cruise) to world leaders such as Nelson Mandela to ordinary people like you and me whose stories become so much amazing on TV, and most ...

We have always dressed Sarah in practical clothes - which translates into cotton pants and shirts. She can walk a bit clumsily at times and wearing pants mean that she will not get scars on her kness if she ever fall down. Anyway, she commented that her cousin Wani wears nice dresses and once she even borrowed one. There's one nice dress that she particularly fancy and Azah said that she bought it at Pasar Isnin. Very cheap. So, yesterday after sending her off to school, I dropped by the morning market and bought her similar dress, only it's in green. I also bought her a Mr Bean pyjamas. Those 2 cost me a mere RM22. Good buy. So, when Sarah reached home yesterday, I surprised her with the 2 sets of clothes. She was so happy! She immediately changed into the dress complete with it's little cloth handbag. It's "Thank You" mummy like hundreds of times. She would swirl and pretend that she's dancing, she would curtsy to me. She just loved the dress. Oh, how a ...

I went to pay for the school fees yesterday. Gunesh was not around so I met up with "Teacher Mala". She teaches one of the subjects to Sarah's class. Before going back she told me how good Sarah is - she listens to the teachers, she does her work, she's not naughty unlike other kids. The teacher had this really sincere expression - so, she's not trying to make me feel good. Well, what can I say, Sarah is a well-mannered little girl. I always tribute that to my sufferings of carrying her for 9 whole months and the agonizing 12-hour labor. I had suffered long enough and me having an obedient child is the compensation. How to illustrate what a nice girl Sarah is? Here's the scenario: picture this - time 12.20pm every day. It's the time when Sarah and Wani come back from school by their respective school vans. Some days both of them reach my mother's place at the same time. Sarah: school bag properly zipped up, wearing white shoes (no more socks as she...