Skip to main content


Showing posts from January, 2015

Aliyah's Route to Realigned Teeth

We started the process to get Aliyah to wear braces for the past weeks. Ever since she was little, her dentist has advised us to get Aliyah to realign her teeth. Apparently Aliyah has the same condition as her father - slightly small and narrow jaw. As a result, the teeth get squeezed in a tight place.

All other processes already done ie X ray, mold, consultation, etc. Today, the first tooth extraction. She has to get 2 upper teeth extracted. That's today and Saturday next week. Then to install some kind of rubber. Then only install the braces. So, we have 4 full Saturday mornings till next month.

15 Years of Marriage

Yesterday, 30th Jan, was our 15th wedding anniversary. Add 8 years to that, we have been together for 23 years. That's a very, very long time :).

I didn't wish Hubby at 12.01am as usual. This year nak test whether he remembers. Well, of course he did. He once synced my phone calendar to his phone. I have all important dates there.

It was working day as usual yesterday. Both of us had dinner separately and both our dinners sucked. So, the plan is to go out for dinner tonight.

Syukur Dimudahkan

Hari ni I dan Linda pergi site visit Masjid Besi, Putrajaya. Plan nak launch our project tu March ni. Masa cuti sekolah, insyaallah. To tell you the truth, our finances sudah agak merundum. Macam-macam kena bayar kan. Yang ada ni tengah save up untuk belanja launching dan print buku.

Linda dah start communication dengan officer di masjid sejak 2-3 minggu lepas. Since shooting video dulu pun buat di masjid, things are quite easy. Hari ni nak finalise exact location nak buat event dan discuss logistics. Apparently, all function rooms are fully-booked till June. Yang tinggal - the open spaces at both wings. So, both of us went around the masjid main floor and picked the most suitable place - which happens to be the place where we shot the video previously. Lepas tu baru pergi jumpa officer.

Alhamdulillah... mudah sangat urusan dengan officer masjid. Since the place is not a function room, we were told - bagi seikhlas hati dan duit tu nanti akan masuk tabung. Puan tu siap tanya apa yang k…

Nak Untung Kena Cara Halal, Astro!

Rezeki kena datang dengan cara yang halal. Itu pegangan orang Islam. Biar tak kaya, asalkan rezeki yang dibawa balik tu halal. Oleh itu, please avoid working at places yang agak-agak boleh menukar duit gaji yang diterima setiap bulan dari halal menjadi haram. One unsatisfied customer can make a whole lot of difference. That's what I believe lah. Betul atau tidak teori ni, terpulanglah.
Hari ni I called Astro untuk reduce the subscription package for my late father's house. It's under my name. My own Astro account I dah lama suspend. My father dulu walaupun dia bukan tengok semua channel yang dia subscribe, tapi dia tetap tak nak reduce untuk anak cucu tengok. Sekarang ni we are trying to minimize expenses for the house. My second sister yang sekarang duduk situ kata, dia cuma nak basic package ie Family Package dan Mustika Package. Yang lain dia tak tengok.
So, I pun call Astro. Dah lah seperti biasa kena tunggu lama kan. Buang duit telefon je. Many times I wonder, yang do…

Really Old Stuff!

We have started going through my late father's stuff - things inside his cupboard, old bags and briefcases... And we found lots of interesting stuff. There were correspondences dated in 1955 of his appointment as a teacher posted to a school in Parit 9, Sungai Besar. He was just 20 years old then. His marriage certificate 29 Dec 1956. A small blue book called Buku Perlantikan Guru listing the schools he taught, 1966.

We even found a small receipt dated early 1982 for school fee of my youngest brother Azlan at Sek Rendah Seri Petaling, PJ. And I found a small stack of results of my days in PPP/ITM, 1989-1991. There were lots and lots of old photographs, mainly passport size ones of my father when he was younger. There was a key chain in the form of a key with the words Kyoto which my father must have bought when he visited Japan in 1980s.

So much memories. So many artifacts.
I laminated these documents. The papers were so frail and thin. I imagine these documents being typed on som…

Finally, Sputnik Sweetheart

I've been trying to get hold of Haruki Murakami's book Sputnik Sweetheart for ages. It's really difficult to find. Not a new publication. First published in 2002. My very limited visits to Kinokuniya always take me around to ogle over other books I don't get to see much at MPH stores. In the end, tak sempat nak beli.

Yesterday, after finally watching Norweign Woods on YouTube, I thought that I really need to get hold of Sputnik Sweetheart. Had that "itch" to read a new Murakami book. Apparently, it's available on MPHOnline. Rasanya last check dulu memang tak ada stock. So, bought it at around 3pm yesterday and surprise, surprise! I got the book this morning!
However, I received this edition of the cover. Not the usual I have in my collection - the white background with black & white photo yang very artistic tu.

Hugs and Kisses Chiko

I didn't update about what happened to our furry supervisor. One Saturday, he simply went missing. That was about a month ago. That morning, we found him looking so helpless in front of the shop next door. As usual, he was waiting for us. When he saw us, he was so happy. He "helped" us open shop, ate, played, slept, entertained kids... Hubby and I took the day off after finishing up some work at the shop in the afternoon. That was the last we saw Chiko.

We believe someone who dined at the tomyam restaurant next door took a liking for Chiko and took him back. Must have happened some time in the night. He's such a manja, fun and funny cat. Semoga sesiapa yang ambil Chiko tu akan jaga dia sebaik mungkin. It was so much fun when he was around. We pray he found a better home. Kucing macam tu tak selalu jumpa... :(

Hugs and kisses from afar.

That Heart Wrenching Sunday

I couldn't sleep much the night before. Sunday would be my turn to be with my father from morning till my Abg Ben comes in the afternoon. I had a script in my head of the things I wanted to tell my father.

9am: Hubby and I reached Hospital Serdang and had breakfast. For me it was a few spoons of soggy meehoon and a sausage. My brother Azlan came down from his shift to hand me the visitor pass. He told us of my father's condition from night till morning. He clearly didn't sleep much. I then went up to Level 7. My father looked like he was sleeping but I knew he was actually in and out of consciousness. His oxygen level had dropped to below 85.

9.30am: The first doctor came. I followed him to the terminal and he showed me my father's chest x-ray. It was almost white. His chest was badly infected and his shoulder blades were damaged. I was told my father was supposed to go for a scan but they decided it was not necessary because they had already found the pr…

Aliyah's First Day of School 2015

Yesterday was the first day of school for 2015. As always, things will get a bit hectic. And to think that I only have one child... and she's now in Form 2. This first week, I already planned that Aliyah will have lunch at home before going to school. Maybe next week she can have lunch at school if she wishes to. There's a good friend of hers that always take her lunch at the school canteen.

This year with Aliyah being enrolled in tuition, I find that I spend a lot of time outside driving around. Buying lunch, sending Aliyah to school, fetching her, making sure she has her dinner, then drive her to tuition. Tua dalam kereta je...

It is customary that I take Aliyah's photo on the first and last day of school. However, this year, with all the commotion, I forgot. On the way to school, just about 200 meters from reaching the school gate, I remembered. Aliyah refused to take a photo. She must have thought, what if her friends saw her crazy mother taking her picture in front of…

Sometimes Things Can Be Hard

We had a meeting amongst my siblings last Saturday and I got appointed as the trustee. One of the duties is to keep the necessary documentations. I have a plastic bag of papers I have yet to sort out. The first thing to do before I sort them out would be to buy a file.

Little did I know it would be one of the most difficult tasks I've ever done. After sending Aliyah to her tuition class, I walked to the stationery shop nearby. I stood in the middle of 2 long rows of shelves filled with files with no idea what kind of file I should get. I took one, opened it, then put it back. I then took the next one. I must have taken and put back numerous files but still could not find the perfect one.

How do you select a file to keep your late father's summary of his life? I will need to keep his birth certificate, death certificate, all other papers that will come my way. I just couldn't find the perfect file.

I went back to my starting point and repeat the process. Tears started to sw…

It Was Goodbye

It's been 5 days since my father passed. The kenduri tahlil was performed on the first 3 nights. On Wednesday, I felt so drained I slept at the shop for hours. Work wise... alhamdulillah it is still early of the year so there's nothing much going on.

Every day I kept asking myself - why me? Why was I the one who had to face 3 different doctors that day who told me that they won't be doing anything if my father's heart were to stop. Why was I the one asked to repeat what I understood about my father's condition and warned to be prepared? No child should go through what I went through that day. No daughter for that matter. Why was it not my other siblings? I was not strong enough.

I remember sitting next to my father's bed whispering "la ilaha illallah" over and over just loud enough for him to hear. I wanted to say many things I had in my mind, but every time I opened my mouth, tears started to swell. I promised myself, I won't cry in front of him.

The Living Suffers

I've been wanting to write about the things that happened these last few days. I would like to write them down before I forget. I will in due time. Just like the rest of my body and mind, my fingers feel so drained.

Something Haruki Murakami wrote in I can't remember which book comes to mind. The dead moved on, it's the living that suffers. Something along that line. I find it very true. Grieving really is painful. Being brave for other people is painful. Carrying this heavy feeling in my chest is also painful.

I believe, among my siblings, I was the last to have a conversation with my father. I don't know whether I can call it a conversation. But the image of my father looking at me with a smile and the words he said kept on playing in my mind. Over and over.

My SIL Nor said maybe I was chosen to hear it. My SIL Kak Ros and my brother Lan said it was my rezeki to hear it. I now doubt them. Rezeki but also a curse at the same time. Because my heart hurt every time the …

I Lost My Father...

My father passed away yesterday at 12.49pm at Ward 7C, Bed 18. He died peacefully. He reached home at around 3.30pm, well-received by almost 100 friends and relatives and was buried after Asar.

My father has left us.

I think he took something that belongs to me with him. He shouldn't have.

Because now I am left with only half of my heart. That half that is left with me now hurts so bad.

My New Year's Eve

What a way to spend 2015 New Year's eve... I spent it in front of the staff of Unit Hasil Serdang Hospital while registering my father to be admitted. What a way to start the new year.

My youngest brother took my father for a check-up at Klinik Kesihatan and was then asked to proceed to Serdang Hospital . Apparently of similar problem encountered 2 years ago. After we closed shop, I called him. He just finished consulting with the doctor and my father had to be admitted. I had this tugging feeling that I might be needed, so we went over. Alhamdulillah for the decision because my brother left to send his kids back, and my father was alone. He needs someone close by due to his prostate problem. He urinates frequently and the emergency ward is not a "real ward" - noisy, hectic, with nobody to tend to him.

I was there from 10pm, going around the lobby to buy him food but all the shops had closed. Hubby then bought fried rice from the stall outside the hospital. Meanwhile, I …