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Sometimes Things Can Be Hard

We had a meeting amongst my siblings last Saturday and I got appointed as the trustee. One of the duties is to keep the necessary documentations. I have a plastic bag of papers I have yet to sort out. The first thing to do before I sort them out would be to buy a file.

Little did I know it would be one of the most difficult tasks I've ever done. After sending Aliyah to her tuition class, I walked to the stationery shop nearby. I stood in the middle of 2 long rows of shelves filled with files with no idea what kind of file I should get. I took one, opened it, then put it back. I then took the next one. I must have taken and put back numerous files but still could not find the perfect one.

How do you select a file to keep your late father's summary of his life? I will need to keep his birth certificate, death certificate, all other papers that will come my way. I just couldn't find the perfect file.

I went back to my starting point and repeat the process. Tears started to swell. I tried very hard from slumping on the floor crying. This isn't happening. My father was a great man. How can his long great life be reduced to a file of papers?

I then heard someone talking to me. A saleswoman looked at me and asked a question. Huh? I blinked and looked at her. She politely asked me, "Cari apa?". I shook my head and pointed to the files. She nodded, smiled and walked off. What was I supposed to say? Oh, my father died last Sunday and I'm trying to find a file to keep his belongings. What would you suggest?

I felt my breath getting shorter. Being surrounded by hundreds of files suffocated me. I grabbed a thin white ring file, the one we used to buy for our trainings, paid and went out.

Losing the pillar of my life is really hard.