Living with Sarah

I was with my dear friend Yatt today to collect some documents and she congratulated us on our anniversary. It's an achievement in life... And I had time to think long and hard while driving back through the traffic jams about our life together... 3 things I remember about us from long time ago... when we were classmates, before we were together. 1. We were classmates in year 2 of matriculation and there was this individual presentation when everybody had to read monologues. Until today I remember Hubby reading this excerpt from a play (or was it a novel) that read something like this: "... of women smelling of cheap perfumes...". The piece had this negative connotation about such women. Since then I never wear cheap perfumes. Even when I'm broke, perfumes are things I don't compromise. 2. I hated him when we were classmates. He sat right behind me in class and every 10 minutes he would tap me on my shoulder wanting to borrow something - an eraser, liquid paper, p...

Today marks our 11th wedding anniversary. Alhamdulillah we have survived 11 years of marriage. Plus the 8 years of knowing each other, that's 19 years in total. It's been a journey full of adventure, ups and downs, laughter and tears... As I write this, our beloved daughter who kissed and wished us early this morning is downstairs making a card for us. The plans for today? I'm a little under the weather actually. This cough is killing me. Not to mention the cold. I hope this cough doesn't develop into that asthma I got like last time. If we were to go out, maybe lunch somewhere near. (Oh dear, I RSVP for ABA's daughter's wedding. I'm very sorry I can't make it.) Our wedding card... Aliyah just handed me this...

These were taken last Thursday. I have not gone to see the progress these 2 days. Need to minimize the inhale of dust. Part of the office has been painted - green and light greenish brown. Today I went to Nagoya to survey curtains to match the walls. Very difficult wall colour to match. The kind of material and colour I wanted not available there. I know I can find it at Ikea, but I don't think I want to spend that much on office curtains. Must go elsewhere to survey... Another section of windows in my room. The view? Under the tree are a host of gerai selling cendol, goreng pisang, laksa and other tea-time stuff. Yumms. Must utilise the stairs to exercise and lose some weight!

A few of us celebrated my brother Azlan's birthday. Most were not around today, but it doesn't stop us from enjoying good food. I was asked to bake a cake but I was not well these few days. So, they bought a blueberry cake instead, which was quite good. Obviously better than my cakes. Well, except my carrot cake, of course! (Nak menang jugak tu!). Memasang lilin. Bukan Abahnya yg nak tiup lilin, anak-anaknya... Azlan & his family, with my Kak Long in the middle. She cooked her delicious mee kari, but then the noodle mee she bought might be one of those which contains too much preservatives. So, after we ate, she said let's wait to see if anybody gets sick. And she said don't serve the noodles to anybody! (Luckily nobody got sick!) That evening people started eating her curry gravy with rice... Sedap... Azlan's youngest Azwa yang comot. My father said Azwa looks exactly like me when I was a baby. Minus the comot I hope!

There are easier paths to walk. Obviously. All I need to do is search. But this is the path I have chosen. It's full of weeds and bumps and rocks. Obstacles everywhere. Some days I skip through... some days I drag my feet. Some days I might look like I'm skipping my way through but I'm actually dragging my feet. But still I move on. And on. And on. Because unlike other people, I can't stop. I have to move. So why is it so difficult to understand?

The past few days dok mencari Kiki macam orang hilang anak. Cuma tak report polis je. We searched every single day. And it's really mind-boggling that we couldn't find him but the little girls always see him around. I finally succumb to asking for an out of this world favour - from my old uncle Acik Adol. I can't say I really believe this kind of thing but I need a closure. So I called him, telling him I've lost this red tabby cat named Kiki for 2 months but now people said he's been found around here. I just wish to know whether the cat is really Kiki. My uncle said - No, your cat is long gone. Still alive but far away. He said the cat the girls saw is not him. It was a sad piece of information but a closure nonetheless. I think we have always knew he's long gone but then you'd never know... So, after lunch today, I told Hubby - Let's just go one last round, if we don't see him, then that's it. Surprisingly, we saw 3 yellow/orange cats - not Kik...

Just some pictures of Aliyah playing bubbles. Nowadays, she's so into playing after we fetch her from my sister's. Upon reaching home she would get me to play badminton with her. I usually would be so so tired, so I would tell her, it's windy and go play something else first! She would take out either her golf club or her hockey stick and play. Then she would nag again about badminton. Or she would cycle around the area if one of her friends comes over. Or in this case, she took out her ever ready bubbles and had a bubbly time.

Over the weekend, the lights have been installed. There are so many lights! Rasa macam kat hospital pulak. The workstations have been ordered but due to CNY, they will close factory for 10 days. So our order will only be processed after CNY and the workstations delivered end of February. Woits, kalau pindah early next month nak duduk mana? Atas lantai? We then decided to proceed ordering training room furniture next week and get the tables and chairs delivered right after CNY. So, if we move that week, all of us will sit in the training room. Settle. The timeline for moving have been planned. My head and heart feel so so full. There are so many things going on at the same time, coping with everything feels so difficult and got me out of breath. With the current project yang tak siap-siap, this renovation and moving plans to the new office, the proposal of the new ideas, the company management with accounts, HR stuff, forms, tax, even little but important things like new templates for o...

First it was hope, then it was frustration and anxiety. Now, I don't know for sure. Yesterday afternoon, Aliyah's friends came over to play. I didn't know how the topic of Kiki came about among them, but the girls said they always see Kiki near their house - the phase 1 houses at the front. I showed them Kiki's picture and they said that's him. After lunch at our neighbour's place right across, we went to search. Because Aliyah's friends came again saying they just saw him being chased by a black cat. We walked up and down the back alleys looking for him, but to no avail. We then came back home, with my hopes down the drain. I was so frustrated. Hubby stopped by at our neighbour's kenduri telling the story and so happen, one of them actually live at phase 1 and he too sees Kiki quite often. All these have started to get on my nerves. I even snapped at Aliyah for asking whether we were going out with her Mak Long. I told her - we must find Kiki first! The...

Today's progress. The air-cond at my office has been installed. The new one in training room also installed. (Cepatnya Miqdam the contractor ni buat kerja, harga air-cond pun tak tau berapa nih...). The partition has been smoothed out... My office... Plan asal mana ada furniture sangat pun, just my desk and chair, and waist length file cupboard. I don't need anything more than those. Now the space is big enough for sofa set...

Quite some progress. This morning we came to these... I think Thursday next week we'll be able to "open" the office. The training room partition is up. The room looks bigger than imagined. We estimated about 12 people at one time (6 desks of 5 feet size), but this room can comfortably house 18 people. Originally we wanted to just transfer the old air-cond (1.0hp) here, but seeing the size of the room, we have to get a 2.0hp to cool the room down. View from the entrance - training room and the one still in skeleton is my room. Again, bigger than imagined. The huge store now has 2 doors and will be partitioned - the front will be entrance to Miqdam's office, the one here will be the surau cum some storage. I requested the surau to have a pipe and place to take wuduk. Lesson learned from experience with previous company - there need to be a dedicated surau with place for wuduk, especially for ladies. I hated it then when have to go to toilet to take wuduk, get my face a...

The renovation work for the new office has started. The place is now very dusty. Currently wiring works are under way. We have also chosen the paint colours - earth colours of green and light brown.

I bought another rosemary plant at Cold Storage on Saturday. The small potted plant they sell at the meat section. Small but very healthy looking plant. And have added it to the herb garden. This is one of Hubby's favourite meals - rosemary roasted chicken. Everything is in one pan - the chicken quarters (seasoned with salt and pepper, with some garlic and fresh rosemary), the veges - potatoes, red peppers, mushrooms and cherry tomatoes (seasoned and added some dried oregano and parsley). All mixed well with olive oil and roast for 40mins. Very simple and fast meal. And yummy.

I am swamped and beat. And exhausted. Loving every moment of it but still swamped, beat and exhausted. I know that's the consequences of running one's own company as a start-up. But this week has been mentally and physically exhausting. With a touch of a peculiar story. It started on Monday when I got a 9am phone call telling me the website we are translating will be launched the next day. Adoii... baru nak bagitau? Even though we only need to include the current news on their homepage, but still there were 13 articles altogether. And a seasoned web consultant like me (ehem!) would know that there will surely be glitches. And true to my words, we couldn't upload the translated contents because the permission / access to the CMS they are using got screwed up. Until today. So, agak stressful. Then, in a very related story, the vendor (let's call them X) who developed the website, whom we befriended because they needed us to restructure that website earlier, whom we worked...

Last night Aliyah slept through the night. Alhamdulillah... I am so, so relieved. Actually, I believe it also has psychological elements. When I sit with her at night to get her to drink her Atok's air jampi, I actually tell her to add her own doa besides the selawat: "Ya Allah, semoga saya tidur lena, semoga saya tidak sleepwalk lagi, semoga tidur saya dilindungi dari sebarang gangguan". So, we doa together. I used to that before with her but I think this time around, with her Atok's air jampi, she is more convinced and believing :)

Yes, Aliyah sleepwalks. It's been going on I think since she was in kindy. At our previous house, she would only sleep walk from her room to our room. Since I'm a light-sleeper, I would hear her footsteps coming to our room. She would stand next to me, scratch her head and mumble. I would take her back to her room. Sometimes this would happen a couple of times a night. If we happen to be downstairs, she would jump into our bed and continue sleeping. When we moved to this home, the sleepwalking continues and gets worse. She would go find us - in our room or downstairs. As before, she would come to us, scratch her head and mumble (if we ask her what she's doing coming down). And we would take her back to her room. I always worry her coming down the stairs because she's not aware of what she's doing. When we ask her the next day, she would give a blank look and said she doesn't remember. The day before yesterday, I was at the desk doing work at around 1.00am when I...

I got this last Monday from Hubby. A red Scholl. As an early anniversary present. He said before he runs out of money he'd better buy now! Sangat suka :)

I'm very happy to say that the edible garden is half-way through. Suka suka suka. The gardener with his work. Hubby bought 2 of these long wood, cut them about 6 inches each (by hand using a saw) and "planted" them around the palm tree. We cleared the grass and he then filled up the space with layers of sand and soil. More wood coming up tomorrow. He promised the little girl a putting green when we moved to this house 1.5 years ago. Finally Aliyah got her wish! We have started planting the herbs. There are daun kesum, mint, rosemary, halia bara, pegaga and aloe vera. There are still a lot of space here. Will scout around for more...

The first week of school is so far so good. In the mornings, I prepare Aliyah's breakfast, and Hubby sends her to school. The road in front of the school is still jam-packed. So Hubby would park at a distance and walk with Aliyah to school. This year Aliyah has been handling the school affairs quite well. She paid for the school fees and school bus fare on her own. After all, she's now in Standard 4. I have been reading my friend Aimy's FB status on her sending her Standard 1 daughter to school - the sending, monitoring, worrying, etc. Been there, done that! But to tell you the truth, the worrying and monitoring part do not stop. I worry about Aliyah every single day. That's what mothers do! And then I actually read back my old posts on sending Aliyah to school. I was so glad I "documented" my experience. One day Aliyah will read the postings and know how much we love her... 11 Dec 2005 : We registered Aliyah at Tadika Seri Pelangi. I remember being so worried...

Very peaceful morning - no difficulty in waking up Aliyah. Everything was smooth except that she misplaced her wristwatch. Both of us sent her to school until the assembly ended and she walked up to her class with the rest. The school and PIBG fees secured in a stapled envelop was her responsibility to take care of. She's a big girl now. Then we both went for breakfast. I think we both actually miss her :). We'll be picking her up at 1.15pmm. She'll start taking the school van tomorrow. On the way to the school hall. Sitting in line with her friends.

I don't know how we were tricked to watch this. Perhaps, it was a treat for Aliyah just days before school starts. People said it's a funny movie. Both of us are not really the "type" to like Mamat Khalid's movies. Yes, funny but not our type of movie. But for Hantu Kak Limah, since it has become kind of a phenomenon, we went to watch. We bought the tickets on Thursday - sold out and managed to get seats for yesterday show. The whole theater was full to the brim. Aliyah was so excited. But after it ended - me and Hubby looked at each other and we couldn't get what's so funny about it. Yes, it's better than Zombie Kg Pisang. And certain ghost scenes are actually quite scary. And some scenes are quite funny. But not the type that gets the whole place in roars - like Papadom. During dinner we made a pact with Aliyah - no more Malay movies at the theater unless movies by Afdlin Shauki.

How we started the new year? With a BBQ :) My brother Angah's BBQ pit has been sitting invitingly at my mother's place for ages. So, I called a small BBQ gathering, not really to celebrate the new year, just to makan-makan. The stuff I prepared this morning - marinated chicken, prawns and lamb chops, hotdogs, boiled potatoes and trifle. All ready and packed to go. Hubby and Miq are always the ones "managing" the BBQ pit. My father was munching on a piece of lamb when he said to me: "Rajin Fairuz & Miq membakar" - in a sympathetic tone. Little did he know that the duo BBQed, picked, reserved and gobbled up the fat juicy ones while BBQing. Anak-anak sedara busy mengupas udang... My mother has not been well for the past few days. It got worst actually yesterday morning. I came over and cooked her some chicken porridge. She has not been eating much for days. She finished a huge bowl of porridge in a couple of hours. That gave her some energy. Today, she enjo...