Living with Sarah

It's a very quiet Hari Raya for my little family. After 3 years, this year we celebrated in Bangi. Our little car is not so well to travel far, so we didn't go back to Melaka. Missing all the fun! (The delicious rendang itik and other food prepared together with my SILs...). Anyway, this year dengan doa semoga hati ini Allah bersihkan dan tanamkan rasa ikhlas, I prepared for the abandoned Bangi house. Setelah balang-balang kuih tidak ditemui, beli a few kat Giant along with a plastic container for cakes. Told my father I'll the cooking, and am touched by his look of gratitude. No matter what he might say that might hurt many hearts, I did what I needed to do. So, dengan kalimah Lillahi ta'ala terpahat di dalam hati, laksanakan tugas sebagai anak walaupun sendirian dengan rasa sayu dan sepi... Segala apa yang aku lakukan adalah keranaMu ya Allah. Alhamdulillah, hari Ahad, walaupun buat kerja seorang diri, Hubby sedia menolong dengan pisau ditangan, semua siap tempat ja...

Sabtu lepas final video shoot, plus photo shoot and montage voice over. Alhamdulillah, finally dah siap. Now tengah tunggu partner siapkan editing dan lain-lain illustrations. Thinking to myself - fun juga this line of work. Maybe something to consider... Anyway, the shoot was at Masjid Besi Putrajaya. Tak pernah pergi lagi. MasyaAllah, cantik tempatnya. Dan meriah. Dari luar nampak sunyi, bila masuk dalam rupanya banyak aktiviti. Dekat Dewan Solat Utama ada kids' program at one corner, ada some women's program, here and there ada orang sedang iktikaf bulan Ramadhan ni, then TV AlHijrah pun ada shooting. Sangat meriah. Ustaz Faris hantar message - "budak-budak dah sampai kan?", and I replied, "yang mana Ustaz? Ramai budak kat sini!".  Our final shoot ialah segmen "Tanya Ustaz". Actually just some fun conversations with kids.  Ini anak-anak Ustaz & Ustazah dari Masjid Besi. Bukan pelakon. Baru setengah jam dah nampak agak bosan. ...

1) After watching The Matrix last night (cerita no 1 - dah tak ingat how Neo started), I was about to go to sleep when I checked Awani update on my phone. Astaghfirullah... I told Hubby a MAS plane lost contact in Ukraine. Terus buka channel 501 and the worst fear was splattered on the screen. The plane was shot down and crashed. It seemed like just yesterday MH370 was lost and yet to be found (obviously presumed crashed) and now MH17. I didn't get much sleep last night. Every hour check latest updates. Sampai alarm 4.15am boleh terlepas (I must have touched "Dismiss" instead of "Snooze"). Alhamdulillah, terjaga jam 4.50am dan sempat prepare sahur. Al Fatihah to all Muslims on flight MH17. 2) Nowadays, I make simple lunch for my mother and send over (after sending Aliyah to school) daily. Except weekends when my sisters are usually there. Starting this week, malam pun cuba untuk ke sana untuk suap dia makan. Kalau tak ada orang bagi dia makan, memang dia tak...

On Saturday, we conducted video shooting for the science experiments and cooking slot for our iBook. The day before, I spent the whole afternoon buying stuff and gathering props that I could. My expectation - we would have to do a lot of work ourselves hence the reason I got Linda to tag along. But then... our partner is very professional. I didn't expect to see 10 crew members at the studio. Termasuk seorang make-up artist. Even Linda nak tolong betulkan tudung talent pun tidak dibenarkan. "Tak pa Kak. Akak duduk je, kita orang buat!". Basically, I was the producer on that day. If I don't like anything, all I needed to do was tell the director and they will scramble to satisfy my demands. Waahhh... powerful gitu. Seriously, what a dedicated, enthusiastic and nice young chaps I dealt with. Alhamdulillah, we decided to work with them. The shoot started at 9.00am (we arrived late!) and ended at around 5.45pm. Penat rupanya "sooting pilem" ni... But I learned...

Dah agak lama tak busy bertimpa-timpa macam 2-3 hari ni. Minggu ni lah that favourite agency nak finalise annual report yang sudah siap translate 2 bulan yang lepas. Minggu ni jugalah nak siapkan skrip dan preparation untuk shoot video iBook. Semalam hari yang terlebih productive. Awal-awal pagi dah sampai di agensi untuk buat review. Banyak lah juga changes versi English. Alhamdulillah mereka ni agak bagus dari segi version tracking. Setiap pembetulan akan ditanda dengan pen merah dan photocopy. I was given version 5, 6 and 7. Nah kau! Setelah selesai mendapatkan photocopy dan menerima briefing dari Pengarah, duduk di bilik mesyuarat sorang-sorang untuk buat pembetulan pada versi BM. Bagus juga duduk sendirian ni tak ada orang kacau. Start jam 11 pagi, target siap jam 3 petang. Agak memeningkan pada mulanya tapi bila dah dapat momentum, laju juga. So, mengadap versi latest BM (yang sebenarnya sama dengan versi 4 English), kat depan buka ketiga-tiga versi English. Jadi setiap page, s...

Hari ni baru nak buat editing iBook based on comments dari Ustaz Faris - ustaz yang berkerjasama dengan kami untuk project iBook. Baru buka page pertama terus tersenyum sendiri. Ustaz bukan check area yang berkenaan dengan dia sahaja, spelling pun dia check. Siap highlight yellow. Kami berkongsi tarikh lahir :). Many, many years apart lah! Tapi... masyaallah, ada sedikit persamaan! Yang pasti orang Virgo (dan mungkin yang lahir pada 20 Sept) adalah sangat detail.

When anger means kicking at the door till the lock broke, slamming on the table till one leg almost broke and threatening to smash an old useful dedicated long-serving laptop, I don't think the person deserves anymore respect. When time and time again, the same problem arise every time a deadline approaches, how can one be patient anymore? Not once, not twice. Every time. And when reason can't be understood. And all those years of selfless acts are simply thrown into the drain, who can blame me for backing off. So, I am backing off. Because I am tired of being tolerant. Of being the one picking up the pieces. Perhaps wearing too many hats can be really exhausting. Most importantly, a switch has been shut. This red laptop has aged gracefully. Serving its owner to its maximum capacity. It contains a decade of data that is crucial to its owner's survival. It is the tool for its owner to "cari rezeki" and has proven to do just that for ages. The family has been su...

Lately, life is full of disappointments. Being positive is such a difficult task especially when I try to do my best at whatever I'm doing. I need to put a full stop to this. Life is never fair but at times it's just too much.

1) I now know how it feels like to be in an ambulance. Like a roller-coaster ride. Seriously. That Friday morning I accompanied my mother to Serdang Hospital in a Pusat Kesihatan Seri Putra ambulance. The journey was bumpy but speedy. My mother kept on asking what this and that was showing the lights and the window. I told her we were going to see the doctor because she was having a fever. She kept on holding my hand to her chest and closed her eyes. Once in a while, she would reach out to my face, feel my forehead and ask me if I am already OK. She thought I was the one with fever. The one we took back was better. It was a private ambulance. And we were not in a hurry anyway. I took two ambulances last week! 2) I accompanied my mother throughout her "ordeal" at the yellow zone from the time she arrived till about 9.30pm. The yellow zone only allows one person at any time. Since it is not a ward, there is also no where to sit. Imagine having to stand for almost the whole ...

It's been such a challenging week. I got a call from my father on Friday morning saying something was wrong with my mother. He suspected a stroke. So, it was a rush of taking bath and then going there. She was in quite bad shape. Ambulance was called in and she was rushed to Serdang Hospital. Then, it was a long, long day of her being in semi-critical zone having to go through various tests. I was there till 9.30pm until my Kak Lang took over. She was then warded at around 2am (finally!) and stayed warded till Sunday. Due to her distress of being in a hospital, having thrown tantrums, we had to get her discharged. Alhamdulillah, she's now resting at home, slightly in better shape than she was in the hospital. I would go daily to bring food as always, unless my Angah and Kak Ros couldn't bathe her in the morning, then I would go earlier. Anyway... it was a few days of stress and anxiety. Not much rest. Alhamdulillah it was not stroke even though she shown symptoms of it ...

Dah beberapa hari ni, bila balik rumah sekejap around 11 to 12 untuk prepare food sikit for my mother dan hantar Aliyah sekolah, cerita kat TV punya lah best. Tapi, bila balik rumah, melangut depan TV, scroll dari 101 sampai la ke hujung (err... yang mana subscribe je la kan), siap patah balik satu round. Kadang-kadang pusing lagi satu round. Tapi tak jumpa juga cerita nak tengok. The other day sempat catch Eat, Pray Love sikit. Tak pernah dapat tengok full movie walaupun buku dah baca 2 kali. Semalam pulak ada British comedy movie kat Sundance - Wild Target. Star-studded movie. And very funny. Refreshing tengok British comedy ni. Pun tak dapat tengok habis. Why la...

Hari ni kedai baru buka sejak mula puasa. Agak slow. Tapi Alhamdulillah, OK je. Pagi ada yang hantar basikal untuk service. Lepas tu bapak dan anak-beranak datang repair basikal dan beli helmet. Tengahari yang panas ni memang sah la tak ada customer. Boleh guna masa untuk research dan buat kerja-kerja iBook. Insyaallah sampai jam 5.30 sahaja. Lepas tu tutup, fetch Aliyah, cari kuih-kuih sikit dan balik masak.  Sejak semalam, lepas hantar Aliyah singgah hantar food sekejap untuk yang tersayang yang memang tak boleh berpuasa. Hari ni buatkan nasi goreng dengan telur dan kacang panjang. Letak leftover sup sikit. Semalam buat sup ayam (leher, tulang dan kaki sahaja) dengan ditambah macam-macam - cendawan, kentang, carrot, tahu. Pendek kata, apa saja yang ada dalam fridge yang sesuai untuk dimasukkan. Hopefully Mak akan makan. Tadi datang dia tengah tidur. Nampak peaceful sangat tidurnya. Tak sampai hati nak kejut...  Untuk alas perut dia sahaja sementara tunggu waktu buka ...