Living with Sarah

Finally, one of our two payments which were delayed came in. Alhamdulillah... after almost two months of "suffering". This morning we went to pick up the cheque at the client's premise (yes, akak la CEO, akak la despatch, akak la sales...) to ensure we get it banked-in at noon. So that it gets cleared early next week. Masalahnya, Tuesday is public holiday. I told Hubby - "bila kerja sendiri ni memang menyampah gila public holidays!". There are just so much work to do! After a scrumptious lunch at my Kak Long's place (semoga Allah swt murahkan rezeki dia sebab belanja), we went back to the client's place for a presentation. Well, the hotel next door. The seven companies were to present their websites, and I did the project status and analysis briefing. Alhamdulillah things went very well. Our favourite contact person took the floor to give his opinions and suggestions and complimented us on our work and service provided. He said - he tested our template...

Subhanallah... What is the meaning of this? I had another dream this morning. I had the same dream on exactly the same day (Thursday early of this month), same time (my morning nap before waking up for work) and same condition - I was fasting. I dreamed of going to Makkah again! This time around there were 3 other people - my father, my brother Abang Ben and Aliyah. I remember knowing my friend Yatt was around but I didn't see her. Again, I was not prepared (I went there probably in a hurry, again!) because I left my watch. I kept on worrying I can't know the time. And again, I was hurrying here and there doing errands. And again, immediately after we arrived, I wanted to straight away go to Kaabah but my brother said - "We can't go now. The leader said to go later". I don't know who the leader was but I know Yatt already went. I looked out the window and saw the Kaabah from a far. And I had more errands to do for people that I thought to myself - when am I ...

Hubby's in JB again. Another training at one of that seven companies. We are still having tough time. Our payments are still delayed. The one that should have come last week will only be in next week. Some technical problem. I think more of human problem! Hopefully the other one will be released real soon. A lot of stuff is overdue. The training trips are consuming our reserves because they can only be claimed after the trainings ended. And that would take what - 1-2 months later? Good thing we have tenants and now rents are due. I chat with Hubby after he arrived. Apparently it rained quite heavily on his way down south. He remarked - one wiper not working so well. We should have replaced it last week. I said: "Kesian awak...". "Nak cari rezeki halal memang susah sikit...," he said. Very true... Sometimes I wonder how some people can do business and get really rich. Here, mostly it's contacts - it's who you know, it doesn't matter if you can act...

A few months ago, I went through a few down moments. Masa tu hati sedih sangat-sangat sebab someone mempertikaikan solat istikharah that I performed. I performed the solat because I was at a dead end. I have two "camps" - who I should believe. I am a very reasonable person, I don't go around making judgement without thinking. One night I did the solat and I cried asking Allah swt to give me some indication - and I finally had a dream 2 days later. Anyway, the accusation really made me sad. Like my heart being torn apart. Like I am someone not worthy to be given help by Allah swt. There was even comments quoted from this ustaz (updated: someone quoted that one ustaz said based on his asking the ustaz about my solat - a true ustaz would not have remarked anything he is not sure of especially that he is reacting based on hearsay) that my prayer was not done correctly, that whatever indication I got was not from Allah swt but from my own sick heart. And my solat is wro...

After 2 months, finally we got our home Unifi on Friday. And despite stories that it takes 6 hours to install, ours was installed in just 2 hours. So, now I'm reviewing HyppTV because we are seriously considering to terminate Astro. I can't say the channels are all good but there are a few that really suit me. Like the Red channel that shows Chinese, Korean and Japanese movies. Hubby has BBC Lifestyle that shows Top Gear. Aliyah je a problem sikit. Ada a few channels for her but she's really into Disney & Nickelodeon. And also her Nada Cinta is on Astro Ria. I'm giving us all a month to review and decide. Most probably - scale down Astro to the minimum and take full HyppTV. Sebab apa? Because I have become so sick of local TV stations showing and producing cerita-cerita yang membodohkan minda orang Melayu (same goes with movies). All those dramas yang dengki mendengki, jerit-jerit, lawak bodoh and slapstick, pompuan pegi bertandang rumah orang gossip-gossip and me...

As you know, Hubby and I work in the same office. We go to the office together, we come back together. I pass him by on the way to the toilet, he looks at me when he goes out the door. After Aliyah comes back from school, we go out for lunch together. When you are bogged down with such routine, most of the times, you might get a bit complacent on each other's presence. These few days saw Hubby going out to conduct trainings to that seven companies we are having project with. He was in JB on Sunday and came back Monday night. Today, we went to Klang and tomorrow Rembau. So, normal routine is a bit disrupted. It is at times like this that I realise how his absence is missed. I was so, so glad when we reached home on Monday night - the sound of the car and the gate opening were such a relief. And this afternoon, suddenly he was at the door at 2pm when he was supposed to come back much, much later. Baru tau rasa rindu... ?

1. Al-Fatihah. Linda's mother passed away last Wednesday. She called me early in the morning. Hubby had his cycling activity so we didn't get to go. Things are difficult for Linda. Even today she is on leave. I'm giving her some time to settle her stuff. There are a lot of things outstanding but then I believe they can all wait. Hopefully she will get back on her feet soon. 2. Life is short. With Linda running around settling lots of things, I am glad that I have done a bit of my part to prepare for that one day that it will be my turn. Hubby and I have both written our wasiat (FYI, the copy is in my drawer in the office, with the original with As-Salihin). Insyaallah, Aliyah will be taken care of by people who love her and armed with some assets that can support her until she grows up. 3. Give life a chance. My garden sure teaches me a lot about life and business. I have 2 plants of cili api that are so thin and yellow. Every few weeks, I will loosen up the hard soil aroun...

Wardina Safiyyah tweeted: "We 'have' access to joy, even when things are most difficult...". So very true. Happiness is a choice. Sadness is also a choice. We choose what condition we wish to be in. At times, sadness can overwhelm but it only strengthens the heart and soul. Things are difficult. But experience and logical thinking nowadays allow me to live my life better. And to be thankful that no matter how difficult things are, I am still grateful to have more things that some people. Today, I'm working from home since Hubby is away in JB. I thank Allah that I work on my own and do not have to be physically present at the office. That in itself is happiness. Aliyah is with me, not at school due to transport problem. But I get to be with her, cook for her, get her to wash her shoes and after lunch get her to study. That is the joy of being a mother. I got a call from my overdue credit card bank and was given another deadline. That in itself is a lessened burden ...

I'm reposting this from ABA's FB status. Simple yet very meaningful. And peaceful too :) " Don't dwell on who let you down, cherish those who hold you up ." Jutaan terimakasih kepada setiap individu yang pernah membuat kebaikan kepada saya dan keluarga. Semoga Allah swt kurniakan kalian kebaikan dunia dan akhirat. Amiiin :) Jutaan terima kasih juga kepada setiap individu yang pernah membuat kejahatan (ambik kau! jahat gitu!) kepada saya dan keluarga. Tindakan anda hanya telah membuat saya lebih kuat dan tabah. Hanya Allah swt yang Maha Mengetahui.

I always perform this amalan whenever I reach the office. My first step up the stairs will start with Bismillah... Then, each step I take up the stairs, I will recite my own prayers in my heart. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah segala urusan syarikatku. Lapang dan luaskanlah rezeki bagi kami. Ampunkanlah semua dosa-dosa kami. Hanya kepada Engkaulah tempat kami memohon pertolongan dan perlindungan. By the time I reach the last stairs, it will be just in time to recite one round of Al-Ikhlas. Then, masuk office kaki kanan and bagi salam. A business has its ups and downs. Now, of all time, is another down moment for us. We have two payments yang tersangatlah lambat bayar. And we need cash for Hubby to go around to all that seven companies to conduct re-training. So, times are difficult. However, I always tell myself - must never give up working, must never give up praying. It will be easy for me to stop reciting my doa up the stairs every morning in frustration. However, to give up is to succumb ...

Our cats. Each has its own personality. Eecah: very smart cat. But not so friendly. If you pick her up, she would look at you as if you are an idiot with nothing better to do. But she would gladly sleep in Aliyah's arms though. If she ever become friendly, it can only be one thing - she's hungry. This is her favourite spot and pose. Eecah is Mimi's daughter. Tabby: shows his emotions clearly. If I pretend to scold him, he would look at me, and then look at Hubby with pleading face like - "help me...". Very brotherly towards Eecah. Tabby is the kitten that we found in front of our house Ramadhan last year. BoboiBlur: blur memanjang. Come to think of it, I think something might be wrong lah. Because I always catch him running in a circle - from side door to the sofa, to the other sofa and stop near where we put our bikes. Always in that pattern. My nephew Nizam always remarks: "Boboi ni tak besar-besar, macam tu je". Tabby is now bigger than him. He has g...

My dream last Thursday led me to search for photos of the Kaabah. I wanted to find one that best resembled the image that I dreamed of. I wanted to have that image planted in my head. So that I will not forget. So that I have a reference. However, most photos I saw showed the marble floor to be white. Real white. But I was so sure of what I saw. Then I thought, perhaps the gold highlights I saw came from the yellow lights or even the sun - it was Subuh. Perhaps the sun has started to rise. Perhaps... Finally, I came across this. And my jaw dropped. This is what I saw. Only closer in range. I have never seen this photo before... Subhanallah...

Subhanallah... that's the only thing I can say... I had the most amazing dream. It doesn't matter if I had the dream during my morning nap. But it is the greatest of all dreams. I think it had to do with me subscribing to Prof Kamil's FB recently, and me reading his blog daily, and also I was so mesmerized by a photo someone shared on FB yesterday - of the area around Kaabah after a heavy rain. The area was in a few inches of crystal clear rain water and kids in white jubah were playing in the water. I dreamed that I was in Makkah with a few friends from school. The trip was organised by Prof Kamil. He welcomed us and even gave a tazkirah - asking us about a doa to recite. Those who answered gave some funny and weird answers. He finally recited a doa of his own - in BM just like in his books. I can't remember what. Then his wife Roza arranged for our rooms. I tried to send SMS to Hubby many times telling I've arrived but never could complete the message. Then I real...

We have always updated our website - with info on our services and trainings. Not that there's much info to put up anyway. We recently changed our web design and CMS due to doing that project with our favourite agency. We used the standard template to illustrate to the companies we were dealing with that it's actually real easy to use the CMS. Now, the first quarter of this year brought quite a surprise regarding our website. We received several calls regarding our services and when asked where they heard about us, they said - your website. I was like - seriously? Something must be right somewhere... This seldom happens. A couple of the contacts will soon become our clients. One inquired about a training we no longer offer - but surprisingly appeared when Googled. Insyaallah, we'll be conducting a training on another topic for them. Another contact called about renting out our training room for their trainings. Apparently, their office is just nearby. They'll be conduct...