Nothing much except for the same old problems and issues. After some time, I really don't feel much concern about it anymore. Whatever... I believe all these years I have done my part. Maybe now it is someone else's job to take over. Do I miss the good old days? Of course I do. If not, how do you explain all these dreams I've been having. I dream of them at least a couple of times a week. I was asked - why do you alone get all these dreams amongst us? I guess because I am close and I used to be the one always visiting and cooking for them especially mid-week. And I used to be the first one to arrive if something happened.
If my heart broke to pieces, I'm not trying to mend it. At times anger crept in - but then who's to blame? The pampering of a child who's suppose to leave the nest and take care of himself? Or the parasite who's sucking up all the juices? Seriously, again, I don't really feel much anymore. It was a choice that has been forewarned. If some supernatural powers were at hand, well, maybe. I personally feel it was a bad choice. By good parents. But the choice has been made and the consequences are evident. All of us have just got to live with it, in our own ways.
Does that make some of us bad people? I really don't know. On the surface, obviously. But after years and years of love and care and suddenly stepping back - there must be a fairly good reason. People do talk but then do they help me when I'm being dumped in a hole? Obviously not. So those who talk have no impact at all in my life. And they can continue talking. For that's what people do.
On the inside, I believe we are still good people. We pray always for the well beings of the two that we love - the doa, recitations and tears after solat, the few cents we put in donation boxes hoping the pahala goes to them (well, I can only afford the cents while this big bro donates cash!)... And in my case, the dreams of them. I won't be having those dreams if I don't love and care...
If my heart broke to pieces, I'm not trying to mend it. At times anger crept in - but then who's to blame? The pampering of a child who's suppose to leave the nest and take care of himself? Or the parasite who's sucking up all the juices? Seriously, again, I don't really feel much anymore. It was a choice that has been forewarned. If some supernatural powers were at hand, well, maybe. I personally feel it was a bad choice. By good parents. But the choice has been made and the consequences are evident. All of us have just got to live with it, in our own ways.
Does that make some of us bad people? I really don't know. On the surface, obviously. But after years and years of love and care and suddenly stepping back - there must be a fairly good reason. People do talk but then do they help me when I'm being dumped in a hole? Obviously not. So those who talk have no impact at all in my life. And they can continue talking. For that's what people do.
On the inside, I believe we are still good people. We pray always for the well beings of the two that we love - the doa, recitations and tears after solat, the few cents we put in donation boxes hoping the pahala goes to them (well, I can only afford the cents while this big bro donates cash!)... And in my case, the dreams of them. I won't be having those dreams if I don't love and care...
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