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Tak Jadi...

I'm supposed to be in Melaka right now. For that workshop. I was supposed to handle one group of SMEs for this module I am very familiar with. I am one of only 3 people who are familiar with the module apart from the developer and the team leader. I don't think the others know the module that well.

All was OK until the last minute. I didn't feel good inside. Aliyah has been sulking every time I brought the subject up. On Monday, when I told her the things she needed to pack and do when I'm not around, still she sulked and started to act cold. I even got a bit angry that I asked her to please give me some support. I told her things are difficult for me now and I don't purposely want to leave her. I needed to work. She was OK a couple of hours later.

It was then that I knew I couldn't go. I have learned to appreciate my daughter's instincts. And I know how uncomfortable it would be for her to stay at someone else's house even for just 3 days. I have arranged for her to stay with my SIL, just 2 blocks away. She would have to pack her school uniforms, get them ironed first of course, her school books, her tuition bag, her daily clothes, toiletries, and thousands of other things.

And even though my brother and SIL are happy to have Aliyah stay with them, I know it's going to be a burden. My SIL is not well. She would have to care for Aliyah ie her food, her schedule, her transport... Difficult job. I didn't even get to prepare the checklist because I know how long it would be. It's amazing how daily routine can look really overwhelming on paper. I don't think I want to scare them.

And lastly, my mother. Three straight days of not being around to bathe her? I don't think I can just leave her like that.

I asked Hubbs to pray for me that I get to wriggle my way out of this. They finally got someone else to replace me. At the last minute. And I thought to myself, I am so going to get fired from the project. But then, I was checking my FB when I read something that someone shared. It said something like - if you care for your parents, you will get rezeki. It got me thinking. Rezeki comes from Allah. So why worry? As long as you work and pray, insyaallah.

Anyway, so far there is no indication that I'm getting fired :)

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