Just Mumbling...

I'm just mumbling. About life, work, love, hate, likes, dislikes... I must admit, I am not perfect. I expect too high of other people, I expect perfection, I expect people to change. While I myself don't even achieve that high expectation or perfection or even change. For that I apologise. Because standards are high in my books. And the struggle to achieve the standards will turn out to be rewarding. Painful but rewarding. After all, why be a normal person when you can put yourself a notch higher.

I guess this tendency to push myself is simply an escape from the harsh reality of bad experience and memory. I have very good memory. Especially painful memories. And there are just too many people hurting that every day I wake with a prayer - that Allah will make this day easier and better for me than yesterday. Nowadays, I believe that prayer has started to be realised in the way I approach life. There are many things that I don't care about now. Some people have been totally erased from my life. Some people might receive so-so treatment from me. With less crowd in my life, some people have received more love and care.

I am suddenly reminded of a phrase I heard many years ago. That that particular union was like a time-bomb which can explode any time. I didn't believe it then. May be I was blinded. But I believe it now.