Living with Sarah

It's my wedding anniversary today. I sat alone yesterday, thinking of the achievements and the experiences the 12 years have brought me, and reflecting on the 8 years of courting. I thought of the friendship that started at my late teen when we at first became classmates, then became friends and then the best of friends. I thought of our 20s when we finished our studies and started working. The hardships of starting our own careers. And finally getting married at 29. I thought of our 30s when we had our daughter and progressed in our careers, when I obtained my Masters and a few years later started my own company. I remembered our tests and challenges and our triumphs. And now we are entering our 40s. We are now working on this company together, raising the most beautiful and well-mannered daughter... We have come a long way...

Hubby wrote this on my FB wall: " Twelve wonderful years...Eventful one hundred forty four months...Never would I exchange a single day for anything. For the ups and downs; for the tears and laughters; For the inspirations and criticisms alike; For all the time we spent in each other's presence and absence...I can never love you the same...I can ONLY love you MORE. May our 12th anniversary bring us not all the riches, not all the jewelries of the world...but a humble contentment in the days that come. Happy Anniversary with lots of love from me, dear ." Happy anniversary to you too dear Hubby...

It was a long weekend and felt really, really long too. Being an entrepreneur, I usually don't really welcome long holidays :(. There's just so much to do! But then, it was a very nice break. We went back to Melaka and spent the weekend mostly watching movies :). Kili brought back his media box with loads of movies. So, it was one movie after another. Finally got to watch Johnny English 2 yang apparently not so funny. And glued to Underworld. And as usual, kalau balik sana mesti melawat kebun my MIL belakang and tepi rumah yang penuh dengan pokok-pokok yang menggeramkan. She really has green fingers - anything she plants grow beautifully. I gave her pokok misai kucing and mint a few months ago and they are now flourishing. Brought back benih kacang botol (which actually was given by us to her when we stayed at Terrance last time - ish, ish, buruk siku betul!). There were anak pokok terung she gave which I totally forgot to bring back. And I dah order from her anak pokok sireh. ...

People say when you reach 40 and you still don't change (bad traits/personalities/behaviour/etc), then you will never change. The months leading to me becoming 40 last year, I became so afraid. I was afraid that I will not become a better person, or tolerable person in my old age. As human beings, we have many, many weaknesses. So, I try to change. The traits that I wish to change most is making my heart better - not to keep grudges, to be "redha" and "ikhlas", be more patient, to be positive, to see things from many point of views, etc. But change is really difficult. But I try. One day I was researching on teaching English when I recalled something from my matriculation days. We had this Chinese grammar teacher whom I totally forgot her name. She once said - "speak in English, think in English, dream in English". At that time, when I was 18, and found that English was not as easy as learning it in school, I thought that was such a logical way of lear...

This road I'm taking is not the path that many people would dare to take. It's the road that most people would only dream to take. But dreams are made of candies and chocolates. Everything seems so sweet. The ugly truth is that it's a road full of obstacles and challenges. However, even as I always believe myself as being strong, at times there's only so much a person can endure. And as much as I believe I've been hardened by the years of experience, this little voice inside me is still that same person. Another staff resigned this week. She has been with us for quite some time. Even though we parted in very good terms - she believes it's time she ventured back into full-time employment and that she knows she can come back to us if the arrangement doesn't work out - I still feel hurt. I guess I am the kind of person who always wants to give the best to people. And I thought that if only we are much more stable, I could have offered better benefits to her. Sa...

Let's see... besides the nothing much, as usual, stuff going on day by day... Let's talk about makan-makan. I made my very first cheese cake. Someone shared the recipe on FB saying - "the easiest cheese cake ever", "for those who have never made cheese cake before", "nothing will go wrong". Perfect for me! So I tried. But, as usual, the problem with these kind of recipes being share by friend to friend to friend is that - they don't tell you the details. Like - how big should the baking tin be? I had no idea. And since I decided to make only 1/2 of the cake - like what the recipe-sharer said she did showing how beautiful her cake is with strawberries and all, I used what I already have - a 9-inch tin. The result? Very "shallow" and thin cake. But surprisingly very, very nice... Well, the crust got all crumbled up - must have made a mistake in weighing but nice one :). Next time kalau nak buat half portion, must use 6-inch tin! Then o...

The kittens are 3 weeks old now. Mimi agaknya dah fed-up susukan anak-anak dia. So the kittens are always hungry. Now, akak la jadi mak angkat. Every morning and after come back from work, have to give them milk. We'll take proper photos of them when they are 1 month old. Then, have to put up for adoption. Tapi dah sayang... Aliyah suka je tolong bagi susu. The orange one is the biggest. This light brown kittie is so cute. Bila dah kenyang, mengganas...

I did say I made my resolutions on 1st Muharram. Yup, still striving :). Progressing. Now that the "official" year is here, actually baru nampak yang 12 bulan tu sangat lama and panjang... And it's only the first week of the year. I really pray that whatever hardships we experienced last year will not repeat itself this year. Some goals this year - I must: - make 2012 better than 2011. In many, many aspects. - read more books. It doesn't matter if I recycle as long as I read. I'm now reading 3 books - LOTR at my bedside, Don't Be Sad/Jangan Bersedih at the living room (quite a good read I must say - it says over and over and over again not to think of the past - something I really am not good at but trying very hard) and Travelog Dakwah at the office. - take care of my health. Must cycle more. Eat right. Hopefully make enough to go get check-ups for all these unexplainable chest pains I've been having. - treat my little family better, love them more. - str...

Happy 2012! How I spent my new year? The whole day at Izzkin Spa temankan my sister and the rest. Nothing much actually. Siap tertidur atas treatment bed sebab environment yang sangat conducive - very cool with low lights and soothing music. Now that it's 2012, I can see the whole long 12 months of the year on the calendar and truthfully, it is scary. But have to keep on moving and working and striving and hopefully we'll have a good year this year. I lost one staff - yesterday she came to return the notebook. But we'll still be working together on project basis. Both of us believe that's the best arrangement - for many reasons. I made the decision after pondering and thinking for days and days, and finally did solat istiharah and Allah swt showed the way. Nope, not telling what I dreamed of nanti fatwa baru keluar pulak. Saya memang seorang yang jahil. Sebab itu lah, saya hanya minta pada Allah swt. Kita minta, insyaallah Dia beri. Aliyah starts school today. For the f...