Sometimes, things do not go well at all. Many, many times I wonder what goes wrong. Have I not been good enough, asked enough, worked enough, be nice enough...? As humans, obviously nothing is ever enough. But asking for more than I could give is really shameful. No, it's not arrogance. It's plain shameful. How can I ask for more when there are people out there with no food? How can I ask for more when there are people out there living in the streets? I have food and shelter. I should be thankful. But I ask in shame - please, give me a little bit more than what I have because I have need for it. And now, of all times, the need is great.
My good friend Yatt told me to ask and continue asking. Pray and ask, she said, the problem is we don't ask enough. I know it's true. I do pray and ask and hope and beg. I know it's a test. This whole thing is a huge test.
This morning I watched the fishes swimming in our little pond, my left chest felt burning, my breath felt short... The fishes have only that little pond to think about. They don't have to think about life out of the little pond. Things look easy. But I'm not a fish. I have many things to think about and to act on. Things are tough. I wish I could stop but I have to move on. If I stop, things will fall apart. Maybe in many ways, I am just like the fish. I don't see them stopping. They swim all day.
My good friend Yatt told me to ask and continue asking. Pray and ask, she said, the problem is we don't ask enough. I know it's true. I do pray and ask and hope and beg. I know it's a test. This whole thing is a huge test.
This morning I watched the fishes swimming in our little pond, my left chest felt burning, my breath felt short... The fishes have only that little pond to think about. They don't have to think about life out of the little pond. Things look easy. But I'm not a fish. I have many things to think about and to act on. Things are tough. I wish I could stop but I have to move on. If I stop, things will fall apart. Maybe in many ways, I am just like the fish. I don't see them stopping. They swim all day.
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