Living with Sarah

This morning I was having roti canai breakfast with Aliyah at our usual place. In the midst of eating, I saw her stare at a boy sitting next to us, and then I smelled something burning. Seemed that the boy, of about 5 years old, was burning a tissue paper using his father's cig lighter. I looked at the father, who then asked for the lighter from the boy and then walked away to pay. Aliyah gave me this uncomfortable look and asked, "Mommy, kenapa ayah dia bagi dia main api? Dia kan kecik lagi?". I asked her, "Dangerous tak main api?". She replied, "Dangerous lah!". So, I sized the opportunity to stress on how dangerous fire is and other related stuff. Then she asked me again, "Kenapa ayah dia bagi dia main api?". Oh wow, that I don't know how to answer. Aliyah believe adults always do the right thing, so how can I explain what a jerk that guy was for allowing his son to play with his cig lighter? Just a few weeks ago I was having dinner wi...

I know when we bought Aliyah the tortoises, there is very high tendency that the green creatures might die. Aliyah lost the first one about a month after we bought it. It's the one named Muza. But that little creature has not been so well I think. It didn't eat much and spent most of its time hiding under the bridge. We then bought another one to accompany Stella. That one lasted like 2 weeks. It became blind a few days after we took it home. I at first thought Stella scratched its eyes. Then last week Stella died. Aliyah was really sad. I noticed the tortoise stopped eating and knew the time won't be long. But it broke my heart when Aliyah asked: " Mommy, kenapa dia mati? Aliyah tak jaga dia elok ke? Aliyah nak ingatkan dapat jaga sampai dia besar". The next day on the way home she was so quiet. When I asked why she said she missed Stella very much. I finally concluded it's because of the water. The lady at the first pet shop said to put 2 drops of anti-clori...

I've been thinking and thinking. I have little "mes" debating on my right and left shoulders. Know what, I am a nice person. No matter what people do to me, I don't have the heart to ruin the life of another human being. And she is so, so lucky she messed up with me. Imagine if it were another woman... my eldest sister, for example. She'd die, man. However, I'm saving this for another day. The day that person starts to disturb my peaceful life again. I'll swear I'll do something nasty. I've created a codename for it - "Ops Buntal". Why? Because she is on the buntal side. I'm nice tonight. So, I'm not going to mention her anatomy, just summarising the whole package as "buntal". Ops Buntal is on hold... till the D-day comes. Watch out b****h.

I still got it you know... I was at Petronas this morning. While I was pumping petrol into my car, I noticed a guy in a suit walking into the Petronas store. Hmm... quite OK looking, sure kerja gomen ni and this morning ada meeting somewhere around here. Then, he suddenly looked towards me and our eyes locked. And I did something I've not done in such a long, long time. I gazed back into his eyes 2 seconds longer than I should. Then I slowly lowered my eyes, smiled slightly to myself and focused on pumping petrol. A minute later, that guy came out and walked pass my car to his car. All the while, I can see him watching me from the corner of my eye. No make-up, in my T shirt, faded jeans and slippers, I still got it. Heh, heh...

It's amazing how a little girl with a big smile and a hearty laugh can turn my world upside down. Yesterday was not a good day for me. After finding that something I was not supposed to see and read, I was kinda down. You know, a broken heart is difficult to mend. So, I did what a mother would do to cheer herself up - take her daughter out and make the girl happy. We went to our usual place - Alamanda - checked out the movies and bought tickets to see Bolt. That's our second time watching it this week! Aliyah just love that story. And you should sit with her during the movie - she laughed so loud and sing along to that country song when the 3 friends were on the big trailer. Kinda embarrassing actually! We had lunch at Sushi King. She loves the food there, I only nibble on some tempura. Then a visit to Toys R Us at Parkson where she ogle over Barbie dolls. After the movies, grocery shopping at Cold Storage with me buying her favourite stuff - mini Cornetto ice creams, harsh bro...

I did something evil. I found something that I was not supposed to see. I'm now a fair CSI you see. I can even open files that I have not the program. I then saved that something I was not supposed to see. The result of me finding that something was my heart hurt again. My head began to spin. This is not good. Then I saw a friend online. And I chatted with her. I need to let this feeling go. Then we conspired. And I sent her some of that something I was not supposed to see. The conspiracy is to teach the person in that something I was not supposed to see a lesson. Well, actually I had a sudden impulse to hurt. Just like I was being hurt. It was an evil act. But the making of that something I was not supposed to see is even more evil. It was even stupid for that person in that something I was not supposed to see. But then... you hurt me. Now I hurt you. I'm not evil. I'm just getting even. Ops, my friend said I must never seek revenge. No, I'm not getting even. I'm t...

I just came back. Exhausted... But it was worth it and it was a very good trip. We reached Kuantan around 4pm on Sunday and stayed at MS Garden Hotel. Aliyah was so excited seeing the nice bathtub and the huge pool. I, obviously, can't really enjoy any of those with the seminar in mind. Now, the seminar turned out quite well. There were about 80+ participants from all over Pahang and I received quite good questions from them. It helped a lot that I see them thumb-size from the stage that my stage fright lasted only the first 5 minutes. It also helped a lot that they came in big number that the break times were quite long and I can stretch my legs. As usual I get surprised remarks - "Puan buat seminar ni seorang saja? Penat lah nanti?". "Err... saya dah biasa, lagipun topik ni my area of expertise"... Yeah, right! Since Linda came along, at least I didn't get the usual questions of "puan datang seorang saja?". I got to know the seminar was an annua...

I'll be going to Kuantan tomorrow for a seminar on Monday (today I mean since it's already past midnight). I'll be conducting the seminar actually. And I'll be speaking to a group of about 100 Pahang webmasters / web team. Adoi sakit perut. I normally conduct trainings to small - moderate number of people ie 10 - 20 only. So, this is the first time I'll be facing a huge crowd and I'm beginning to feel a buzz of nervous bees in my stomach. Hubby and Aliyah will be coming too. A paid-for trip so they can have fun while I sweat speak. I'm bringing Linda along. Another paid-for trip for my staff. Kasi can la kat dia since hubby dia dah nak naik kapal dah next month. Wish me luck... Semoga aku tak pengsan di atas stage.

Sometimes you can be really down and you might think that the world is just so unfair. I have had that share of thoughts many, many times. At times I think if I can have a little bit of this, life would be easier. Just a little bit of that, and life would be great. And those are the times that I forget that I am actually so very blessed. I was on my way to the office this morning, my head full of thoughts - car insurance and road tax already overdue... house installment also overdue... when will I get that payment from my client who is also my previous employer (tak reti-reti nak bayar la korang nih)... what will the arrangement like for Aliyah when she starts school come January... will I get projects next year with economic crisis already felt all over... And then this song came out on the air. And then I actually felt much, much better. With Aliyah next to me giving me her cheeky smile and saying "Love you Mommy", life is actually good to me. I might not have everything I ...

Our little family had a blast yesterday. After breakfast, off to Bukit Unggul swimming pool. Aliyah had a good time in the water with her father. There was another family there, kalau tak I pun terjun sama. After that, one round ball hitting at the driving range. My daughter has such amazing energy for such a thin girl! After lunch and back home, she still has energy to play games and do her drawing stuff while us the parents bongkang in front of the TV. I watched these two in the water and thank God we are still together as a family... Aliyah in her new floats. She's really good in taking care of her stuff. Her old floats lasted for years until the tube got a bit loose recently.