Living with Sarah

Angah, my sister-in-law who got married last June is now pregnant. Yes, good news. But bad news is that, she's now having that horrrible terrible morning sickness just like what I had last time. She was hospitalized for 4 days for dehydration and then fever. Kesian kat dia. I know exactly how it feels. I told her, "Akak tak de advise for you, because I experienced the same thing and there 's nothing in this world to make it feel better". Looking at her just brings back the memories of 5 years back when I was pregnant with Sarah. The morning sickness started at 2 months and lasted the whole 9 months. Yes, I was one of those what, 10% of women who are sick for their whole pregnancy. I was hospitalized for 2 days je but then I had to take 1 month unpaid leave because I was so sick. Everything I ate came out, even water. I slept the whole day. Covered the windows with towels so that the room became dark - I couldn't stand daylight because sakit kepala. Then sleep unti...

I was on the way to send Sarah to school yesterday when I heard on Era discussions about minimum salary one should be getting. It's the morning topic and the two deejays where receiving phone calls and also reading SMSes. As predicted, when it comes to salary, nobody would say that they get enough. There was one lady who lives in JB citing that she gets only RM900 of basic salary and she's been working for her company for 8 years with only about RM20 increment a year - itu pun for the last 2 years tak ada increment. The SMSes being read were all complaints that salaries are just not enough. There are lots to pay - house rent, car loan, and many others don't know what. In summary - nobody was satisfied. Now tell me - who in their right mind would say their salary is enough? Everybody would say they deserve more. The more you get, the more you believe you deserve! Why? Because the more you get, the more you spend, the less balance you have end of the month. When the balance i...

Sarah is fast approaching her 5th birthday. Only 5? The way she acts she's like way, way older than that. And she's showing all these characteristics that some, you can point out where she got the from, while the others you really wonder where she inherit them from. Perfectionist: she's a Libran but she is a perfectionist. Yesterday she showed me her Barbie sticker book and complained about Wani, her cousin. She said Wani took 2 stickers from the middle section. Wani was supposed to take from the bottom section first. Now the page has 2 missing stickers right in the middle and she really hates that because the stickers are now not in order. - I think she got that from me. I'm a Virgo, though I'm not a true perfectionist, I really hate it when things are not in order. I would arrange things when I pass through. I would not sit in peace until a certain crooked furniture is straighten. Now I'm not that picky anymore but it's scary to see Sarah is beginning to a...

It's the 2nd day of Ramadhan. I have stomachache. I'm not the kind of person who eat sahur actually. If it's puasa ganti or sunat, it'll be simply a glass of milk. But hubby is a sahur person. So, have to cook rice and some lauk. So, this morning I had this terrible stomachache. Lesson well learned - tomorrow onwards only feast on light food for sahur. Sarah cut school today - I felt so lazy to send her in this condition, so she's at the office with me. Anyway, now that I dah semakin rajin use my camera-phone and download the photos to my laptop, here're some exclusive photos of Dextra Resources office. Small, cozy, comfy... The view from the entrance. That's Linda, our admin assistant on the left. My office. I got a stack of UAT scripts in the box to process. Those are Sarah's legs under the table. I don't know what she's doing down there! I have a treadmill in my office. Niat di hati nak exercise. It's collecting lots of dust as predicted. ...

A year older and hopefully wiser. My birthday was on Wednesday but it doesn't feel like a birthday at all. That day was the 2nd day of Dextra workshop on enhancing website. We have 13 participants and I wanted to spend the day networking. Like the day before, we sent Sarah to my mother's place - in her pyjamas, then off to KL with hubby. For 3 days this week my father sent Sarah to school as I have to get to KL before 8.30am. Poor Sarah, I didn't even get to dress her up for her school photo shoot. The crowd at the workshop was good. We even have a few outstation participants. They looked like they enjoyed themselves and learned a lot! Met an old acquaintance, made some new friends, everybody looked comfortable and at ease. I updated company accounts and guess what - Dextra made RM14K this month on trainings only. What an achievement for a 2-person company! For the first-time in a few months I felt so relieved. This month has been productive so far. With 2 trainings, 1 pre...

Confirmed. Haruki Murakami is the greatest living novelist in the whole wide world. I'm now re-reading Norweign Woods. Now half-way through. And I still marvel at the beautiful words he uses to describe things, at the simple yet thought-provoking technique he uses to tell his story and more importantly, how at peace one feels when reading his books. The book is considered by many as his autobiography. Perhaps. But what makes it interesting is the way his story hits you at your heart. How similar your thoughts and feelings can be like he is actually telling a story about you. Once he talks about dusk - how dusk is the time that he feels the most lonely. I feel that too. When the sun is setting, you know Maghrib is approaching, the day is ending and night is falling - that is the time I hated most. I often spend such time at home, sitting on the plastic stool on the porch of my house and reflecting. About a lot of things... And that is the time that I feel really, really lonely, it s...

I never thought that one day I would cry on the shoulders of my little girl. Literally. And for such tiny shoulders, it was the most comforting feeling I've ever experienced. Things happened. I was so stressed out, miserable and sad. Sarah looked confused. I felt guilty she had to witness it all. I called her to me and tried to explain. I didn't know where to start. She simply looked at me, smiled and cocked her head to one side. She looked so cute. She tried to cheer me up. Then the fort I've been holding just went crashing down. I cried, told her about what happened and how could her Abah did that to me. She then came close and hugged me. Her hands were in my hair and she pulled me close to her chest. I cried like crazy and then only realised that I was literally crying on her shoulders. She didn't say much. She let me talk. When I looked at her face I saw that she had tears in her eyes, but she's not crying. She smiled as if trying to say that things are going to...