My MIL was hospitalised for about 2 weeks due to some normal complications after her medical check-up. Nobody would have thought she would suffer a fatal heart attack on Saturday. I didn't get to see her. Actually, many didn't get to see her. I had some health issues myself the past week that I didn't follow Hubby on Saturday - the day she suffered the attack. Even my youngest SIL who had been taking care of her came that morning to a bed surrounded by doctors and nurses. And by then she was already unconscious.
After Hubby left for the hospital on Saturday morning, I was restless. I didn't know why. I kept on refreshing FB status. Constantly checking SMS and WhatsApp. I didn't know what I was looking for. An hour later, I read my SIL Siti's status that my MIL was critical. I read with disbelief. I went upstairs, took my bath and by the time it was Zuhur. After Zuhur I did solat hajat. I pray my MIL will recover. I even promised a "nazar" - please make her well. Please.
Hubby came back after midnight. Pray for the best, prepare for the worst. When we went over to the house to fetch my SIL Siti to go to the hospital together the next morning, she sat down and said - "nobody expected this". She had a look of disbelief. We reached the hospital and I went to find the rest of my SILs. They had a tikar spread at a section outside the ward. Nor was composed but her eyes were red. Angah straight away hugged me and asked how I was. Mija, the youngest, weakly came over, hugged me and cried saying - "It's too soon...". That's when we got to know my MIL's heart had stopped for the 3rd time.
We went in to the ICU. The drapes of my MIL's bed was drawn. Nurses were busy going in and out, glancing at us as they do their job. My hands were cold and shaking. My knees were weak. I told myself - "This isn't happening. This is just not real". Mija was breaking apart. I held on to her hands. I was trying to stop my hands from shaking. But I didn't shed even a single tear. I wanted to be strong for my SILs. And I just felt that the drapes will be opened and I will see my MIL waving to us. She had always been such a strong person. She will be OK. I just knew it.
When the young doctor came out alone, it was written all over her face that my MIL was gone. And when she announced it, I tried to grasp the reality. How can this happen? Around me my SILs started crying. Mija almost collapsed. I reached out to a table at the side to steady my weak knees. I don't think I can be a shoulder to cry on for anybody at that moment. When Hubby held my hands, the loss sank in. This flood of tears just run down and I doubled over. I squatted on the floor, my arms tight around my abdomen. Hubby and Angah thought I was sick.
We went back to the house to prepare for the burial. Alhamdulillah... it was the easiest and fastest burial ever. I was still in pain but I told myself, this is the last time I can do something for my MIL and I will do all that I can. I can deal with the pain later. And when it was time to bathe her, I went. This was the woman who gave birth to the man I love, it was only befitting that I help bathe her for the last time. Each time I needed to lift her body a little, I whispered - "minta maaf mak kalau mak sakit... minta maaf...".
My MIL passed away at 12.10pm. The burial was completed before 6pm. The weather favoured her.
Al Fatihah...
After Hubby left for the hospital on Saturday morning, I was restless. I didn't know why. I kept on refreshing FB status. Constantly checking SMS and WhatsApp. I didn't know what I was looking for. An hour later, I read my SIL Siti's status that my MIL was critical. I read with disbelief. I went upstairs, took my bath and by the time it was Zuhur. After Zuhur I did solat hajat. I pray my MIL will recover. I even promised a "nazar" - please make her well. Please.
Hubby came back after midnight. Pray for the best, prepare for the worst. When we went over to the house to fetch my SIL Siti to go to the hospital together the next morning, she sat down and said - "nobody expected this". She had a look of disbelief. We reached the hospital and I went to find the rest of my SILs. They had a tikar spread at a section outside the ward. Nor was composed but her eyes were red. Angah straight away hugged me and asked how I was. Mija, the youngest, weakly came over, hugged me and cried saying - "It's too soon...". That's when we got to know my MIL's heart had stopped for the 3rd time.
We went in to the ICU. The drapes of my MIL's bed was drawn. Nurses were busy going in and out, glancing at us as they do their job. My hands were cold and shaking. My knees were weak. I told myself - "This isn't happening. This is just not real". Mija was breaking apart. I held on to her hands. I was trying to stop my hands from shaking. But I didn't shed even a single tear. I wanted to be strong for my SILs. And I just felt that the drapes will be opened and I will see my MIL waving to us. She had always been such a strong person. She will be OK. I just knew it.
When the young doctor came out alone, it was written all over her face that my MIL was gone. And when she announced it, I tried to grasp the reality. How can this happen? Around me my SILs started crying. Mija almost collapsed. I reached out to a table at the side to steady my weak knees. I don't think I can be a shoulder to cry on for anybody at that moment. When Hubby held my hands, the loss sank in. This flood of tears just run down and I doubled over. I squatted on the floor, my arms tight around my abdomen. Hubby and Angah thought I was sick.
We went back to the house to prepare for the burial. Alhamdulillah... it was the easiest and fastest burial ever. I was still in pain but I told myself, this is the last time I can do something for my MIL and I will do all that I can. I can deal with the pain later. And when it was time to bathe her, I went. This was the woman who gave birth to the man I love, it was only befitting that I help bathe her for the last time. Each time I needed to lift her body a little, I whispered - "minta maaf mak kalau mak sakit... minta maaf...".
My MIL passed away at 12.10pm. The burial was completed before 6pm. The weather favoured her.
Al Fatihah...
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