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Letak Fish Pada Self

These 2 days life is a bit hectic selepas letak advertisement. Itu pun conceal phone number. Communicate via email sahaja. Kalau betul-betul berminat baru discuss di Whatsapp. I'm not going into that topic yet, but one discussion I had with Hubby this morning made me ponder. Hard. Macam ada split personality. Dua personality agak berbeza sedang conflict dalam kepala.

I asked for advise during breakfast and this is what I got. In essence: ini masanya awak kena dahulukan diri sendiri daripada orang lain. Awak selalu kesian kat orang tapi awak kena kesian pada diri awak sendiri. Don't get him wrong. He's trying to put sense into my brain.

So I sat at my desk the whole afternoon. Thinking. Of the times I do things foolishly (I'd like to call it nobly) by putting other people first instead of myself. Dan teringat terbaca somewhere pasal rezeki. Bila dapat rezeki, mesti dahulukan keperluan diri sendiri, kemudian keluarga, lepas tu orang lain.

I'm not saying I ni baik sangat. Tapi kan. Baik kot. Entahlah. So, today at this particular meeting with this potential, Hubby took the reins and negotiated. And confirmed. And now, I have this problem to tell one party I communicated yesterday that I have to forgo his offer. Istiharah pun dah buat 2 kali. Gerak hati agak kuat untuk confirm with the one yang mudah urusan dengannya. Malam ni kena buat lagi.

Ok, maybe "selfish" is not the correct word to use. My good personality nudged me - I'm doing this for my family, my company, our business ie the shop, and insyaallah to help others who are in need. Semoga Allah mudahkan urusan. Aminn...

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