I learned something valuable today - no matter how difficult my life is at the moment, there are thousands of other people out there whose lives are much, much worse. And, no matter how difficult I think my life is at the moment, rezeki is still in abundance. My short visit to my Angah's place just this evening turned out to be an enlightening one. He earlier sent me an email containing 2 YouTube links to a talk by Ustaz Yusuf Mansur about "sedekah". I'm still watching it. But the gist is - kalau kita beri sedekah, in shaa Allah pulangan yang Allah bagi balik adalah berlipat kali ganda. And my brother told of his own story - susah atau senang, at least 2.5% from company revenue every month akan disalurkan ke rumah anak yatim. And he recounted how at even the most difficult time, in shaa Allah rezeki tak putus.
And I reflect on my own situation - selalunya bila ada duit lebih baru cuba nak sedekah. Kalau bayar makan kat kedai Mamak, balance duit masuk dalam tabung untuk bina masjid. Tapi belum sampai tahap dapat payment akan put aside at least 2.5% untuk bersedekah. Sebabnya? Rasa macam tak cukup untuk bayar macam-macam. Entrepreneurs like me don't get payments promptly at the end of every month. So, kalau ada duit lebih mesti kena save up. And these couple of months have been quite difficult for us because payment lambat.
Tapi, sebenarnya, itu semua bukan alasan untuk tidak bersedekah. That is the lesson I learned today. Ever since the Gaza assault these past weeks, I have been telling myself - kalaulah payment dapat cepat, boleh derma kat saudara-saudara Islam yang sedang menderita tu. "Kalaulah"... It is such a dangerous word. Kalaulah payment dapat cepat, berapa agaknya I mampu derma? Lepas tolak semua outstanding bills entah-entah terus habis. Lepas tu, again the word "kalaulah" akan keluar. Kalaulah payment yang satu lagi tu dapat cepat...
After I came home from Angah's house, I sat thinking - I don't have RM10,000 to give away, I don't even have RM1,000 to give away, or even RM100. But I know I have RM10 to spare. If everybody in the country pledge RM10 for Gaza, imagine how much money is being collected. I know our next payment might come in weeks. But the people of Gaza need the money now. Whatever happens between now and the coming weeks is in the hands of Allah swt. Kalau kita dah usaha - siapkan project satisfactorily, hantar invoice, follow-up, what else can we do except to put everything in the hands of God? Doa semoga payment disegerakan dan dipermudahkan. Dan bila dah redha yang segalanya di tangan Allah swt, terus rasa lega sangat dalam dada. So I opened that little box where I put all the profits from my little side business and I realised that I actually have more than RM10 to spare. And I did what my brother Angah said might be the most difficult thing to do - to give some of the money away even though I am in the need of it. But I didn't give some of the money away. I gave all that I have in that box away except for a few coins. I transferred the money to one of the accounts collecting donations for Gaza.
And it felt good to be able to help even in the smallest manner to people who need the money more than I do. After I clicked "OK" on my screen, terus angkat tangan dan doa semoga duit yang walaupun tak seberapa tu akan dapat dimanfaatkan. Mungkin cukup untuk beli food untuk beberapa family, or beli baju sejuk, or beli beberapa ketul batu bata untuk bina balik rumah, bangunan dan masjid.
I thought to myself, tomorrow when Aliyah and I go to my Kak Long's place, kena jimat-jimat berbelanja. Tapi Allah swt tu Maha Berkuasa, Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang. Miracle in just minutes... As I was typing this story, Hubby came over and gave me double the amount of money that I donated just now. He just got payment from his cycling buddies yang hantar bikes for servicing.
Subhanallah... Alhamdulillah... Allahuakhbar...
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