Living with Sarah

I watched the finale of CSI New York 7 last night and the song at the end really struck me. Awesome song... I googled and found it - Holdin On And Letting Go by Ross Copperman Is anybody out there? Is anybody listening? Does anybody really know? Is the end of the beginning The cry a rush a one breath Is all we waiting for Sometimes I want my taking Changes everyone before [Chorus] It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed Some prayers find an answer Some prayers never know We're holding on and letting go Sometimes we're holding angels And we never even know Don't know if we'll make it, or we know We just can't let it show [Chorus] It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com Some prayers find an answer Some prayers never know We're holding on and letting go ...

There's something very fascinating about Kimora Lee Simmons. I'm not a fan but when I chanced upon her show, I can't help but watch it. Putting other irritating stuff about her aside, there's actually a lot you can learn from her. Like normal people she has her ups and downs. Just that she has so much money, her ups and downs don't really affect her lifestyle. Her shrewdness as a businesswoman is admirable. And... she gets what she wants. No matter what. It's interesting that her employees are actually not that good. Really. They are just normal people. And very last-minute kind of people. But in the end, they did it. If I were to have that bunch as my staff, I would have sacked half of them. Seriously. Who needs that many people who give you heart attack every time they are asked to do something anyway? But they achieved what they are asked to do - to Kimora's satisfaction - almost everytime. I think it's somewhere between fear of her and also high resp...

I'm still feeling guilty... Things have started to get better these days. But still things are tough. I would never give up, I promised myself that but at times it's really tiring. And gosh, work is never ending. One after another. I've been working everyday for the past 3 weeks. No weekend rest. There are always things to finish up, deadlines to catch. Opportunities are there but as of now, they are not certain. But I can't just give up because of the uncertainty, can I? What if the uncertainty become certain? That's why I keep on working because if I stop, things might get worst. I'd rather work than sitting at home staring at the idiot box. With all these bottled up, I knew it's just a matter of time before I snapped. I've been patient in swimming through all these debris of life, calming my heart, accepting the hardships... But as a parent, the easiest way to release the stress of life is by snapping at your kid. I know that's the worst thing tha...

Aliyah brought back two yellow papers written with reasons why she loves us. Apparently, it was an activity by a replacement teacher. So cute :) Why she loves mommy... Why she loves abah... She drew this at the office while waiting for us to finish work. She watched on YouTube on how to draw Blossom of Powerpuff Girls and actually drew this free hand! Very nice...

Happy Father's Day to all fathers who exercise and execute their roles and responsibilities to their children and families. Aliyah and me and my Kak Long went out to Alamanda to buy Father's Day gifts yesterday. A batik shirt for my father, and us - a cycling shorts for Hubby. Last night, we went for dinner at Baghdad Cafe just near by for Arab food. Such a huge feast. And managed to finish almost everything. Only 3 slices of pizza left for my mother to tapau back. Very good meal.

I tried my first night cycling yesterday. Aliyah spent the night with her Mak Long at my parents' place, Astro channels suck big time there was nothing worth to watch, so I was really bored. We didn't cycle far, just around Seri Putra. I told Hubby 30mins cycle is good enough. So, off we went at 11pm. Cool night, not many cars. The speedy ride down the hills was so chilly my fingers felt numb. Right after we stopped at mamak Nazeem for coffee. But it was nice. Now I know why Hubby and gang go for night rides.

The results were out - we didn't get the east coast project. I, however, didn't feel at least frustrated. Why? Because we were told that we were actually favoured but seemed the budget they have is very low they had to award it to someone else. Know what, with that kind of budget, who ever's doing it would be doing it at a loss. Especially since there are hardwares as well. And content translation work. And video streaming. I believe Allah swt knows best. The project owner said she is so worried about the project - whether it can be done with that small budget. I pity her. However, not all is lost. They will come for our training next month and maybe there will be in-house training as well. Alhamdulillah... Now, I'm doing this RFP for this financial institution along with our CMS partner - MDA. Just as I thought I would be spending this weekend doing nothing - ie as how weekends should be spent, looks like I'll be working after all. Tak apa lah... insyallah, if ada ...

I cycled to work today. It's been such a long time because there were always excuses - had to fetch Aliyah, etc. Since Hubby is out to KL till Thursday, I had to cycle. Not that I'm complaining. I am proud to announce that for the first time, I did not stop - managed to cycle up and down the hills in the correct gears - and clocked 16mins. Last time was 20mins. Anyway, cycling alone gives so much time to think about lots of things. As I climbed up and down the hills (with curses in between) I got these reflections and inspirations. So, my words of wisdom today: "being an entrepreneur is a lot like cycling". There are flat roads where you can change to gear 3/8 and speed, there are hills where you might need to go from 2/5 to even 1/3. And the climb? As you cycle to the mark at the top, you have mixed feelings of wanting to just pull over and this determination to conquer that mark. And when you have reached it, and speedily cycle down the hill trying to catch some bre...

Aliyah got a few of her exam results yesterday. As I have expected, her results were average - ranging from 78-68. She even got one C. I think she was a bit afraid to show us. After Hubby ran through her papers, she took her bicycle to go to her Pak Ngah's house. We sat at the patio watching her, and I saw this look on her face. She looked at us, I believe, with a bit a sadness or regret before she cycled away. Or perhaps she felt that way because she was surprised that we simply accepted her results as they are. We didn't have much time to spare to really guide her before her exams. There were too much work to do, especially with me having that situation. She basically studied on her own. And not much. Between Hubby and me, we always would pledge that we will help her more, but then we always don't follow through. It is quite difficult nowadays. For me personally, I think after all that I've been through, my daughter's average results is the least of my concerns. S...

Already? Time flies so fast. Aliyah has been spending her days at our office daily. Really pity her. She understands our situation, but still I feel so bad. One consolation was last Thursday when we spent the day at her Mak Long's place in KJ because Hubby had to go to Kerteh for day trip. While I struggled to finish up a translation job, she played with Harith who was around. Good thing I managed to finish the work at the deadline - on the dot - and then took the bunch to Giant Mall for lunch and play at the playground. Itu pun Aliyah said she had so much fun already. She really is a sweet little girl.

Things around were not so good last week that I didn't have the mood to write. On a sad note - my Pak Long Jalal next door to my parents passed away last Friday afternoon. He has not been so well but was better these few weeks that he moved back to his own house. I have not seen him much lately actually. Well, I have not been visiting my parents for weeks until just recently. I will always remember him as a funny person in a funny sort of way. Not the "funny" funny, but "funny" you expect from an old relative. The person you would roll down your side window when you pass him by - just to say Hello and receive some pleasantries. The person you jokingly ask for money from whom would show his empty pockets and ask some back from you. That simple kind of funny. Now his house will be empty. No more seeing him sweeping the lawn or just taking a walk around or stopping by the house for a chat. Al-Fatihah. One of my staff's mother is also not well. All of us are in ...

It's a good day today. Better than the previous days. I got this assurance that no evilness can touch my company. Even though sleep is still difficult, it's celebration time. So, as we promised our little girl, it's Kung Fu Panda 2 day! We also declared it's Aliyah Maisarah's day, so she choose what she wish to do from 10am to 3pm. Right after, Mommy and Abah need to go to the office. So, after breakfast, we went to Alamanda. I was not sure whether we can get tickets or not actually. The queue was long, and with a throbbing headache, I was secretly praying we go another day. But it's Aliyah's day after all, so she got her wishes. I was so surprised we got tickets with good seats. Apparently, people were queuing for Pirates. The movie? Awesome! My only comment - go watch! Despite my headache, I could still appreciate the beautiful animation. As usual, I always get inspiration from such movies. This time - the conversation between Lord Shen and Po... Lord Shen...