It's been such a long, long time. As far as I remember, ever since I started this blog, I've never skipped a month. This is the longest absence ever. Almost 5 months! I'm still alive, if you are wondering. I was just... not well. It was the most horrible time of my life; that 3 months I was down. It started early December and lasted till end February. Allah... Thinking back, it was hard to believe that I survived that phase of not being well.
What happened? I really don't know. I guess it was 3 types of sickness blended into one, all at the same time. I can't even describe the feelings and condition I was in. It was one after another, I was lost at first but I had Hubbs to thank. He observed me closely and every time I just couldn't take it anymore and asked for help, he jumped straight in and did all he could.
That 3 months I was sick, I was treated by 2 Darussyifa ustaz, well 3 ustaz counting the last one I went to and was finally told I was OK. I received treatment at An Nur hospital at 2 different departments that I became a regular face. I sought help from a doctor friend who referred me to HPUPM. So, it was Hospital Serdang pharmacy for my SVT meds (my cardio appointment was deferred twice and the next one will be in June), An Nur hospital for my ENT and psychiatrist treatments and HPUPM for ENT. My MySejahtera status became yellow indicating casual contact the times I went to the hospitals for treatments!
Alhamdulillah, I am OK now. I'm still receiving treatments and on medications but things are so, so much better. I had Hubbs and my anak comel to thank for being there for me always while I was going through that phase of hardship that I was fighting alone. I guess it was a test from Allah and Alhamdulillah it brought me closer to the Almighty.
Thinking back, it was an exhausting, suffocating and painful experience... I was constantly struggling and fighting. I slept poorly. Either I couldn't sleep at all or even if I managed to sleep, I wake up every 2 hours. I ate poorly too. I had to force food down my throat so that I could take my meds. I would just take a bite of whatever anak comel was having. I relied on overnight oats for energy, I took 2-3 spoonful just to fill up my stomach. Once in a while I would have porridge. I lost almost 5kgs of weight.
So much has happened for the past 5 months. Will see if I can capture the moments here.
It's nearing the end of Ramadan, selamat menjalani ibadah puasa yang tinggal beberapa hari saja. I'm feeling a bit gloomy that Ramadan is ending... There's so much to do that I didn't get to do. Semoga Allah menerima semua ibadah kita.
Will catch up soon!
Stay safe.
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