I feel so very tired. And I was thinking - I have only one child to manage. If I have more, it would have been more tiring. This tiredness is due to waiting I suppose. But draining. The day started early - 6.50am sent Aliyah to school with a stopover to fetch her friend. This is the first co-curricular activities of the year (as I know it), so I'm not really sure what time it starts and ends. There was no bulletin on it.
So, after laundry and some cleaning, I headed to the school at 9.20am to fetch her back. So I waited. At 10am, the Std 3 pupils finished theirs. And I waited. Since Aliyah brought her handphone, I went back home for a while to send something home. I went back to the school and waited. And waited. Finally, she finished her activities at 11.20am. A full 2 hours later.
You might wonder why I kept on waiting even though Aliyah has her handphone with her. I don't know. It is a Saturday and I don't feel like really thinking. I just sat, waited and switched off my thoughts. I just stared at one spot. But most importantly, I always want to reach the school before she comes out. It'll be a pity to let her wait in the heat. What I wish to see most? That look on her face when she sees me waiting for her. That smile of joy and happiness. I can trade nothing for that look.
Then, straight away for lunch since having breakfast is no longer an option for me. Next, up to the office for her to take a bath and get ready for tuition. Then, off to get her drinks and bread for her break time at tuition. Then, send her to school. Then, back to the office. This heat is draining my energy... And I have work to do.
It really is difficult to be a mother, a wife and having own business at the same time. Really. I have no maid at home to help with house chores. So, I do laundry - the washing and the folding and the ironing, I cook, clean... Doesn't seem much at one sentence, but tiring. But I still do it. Often, I can't even sit after coming back from work. By the time I sit, "Nada Cinta" yang Aliyah loves so much tu dah more than halfway through.
That's why if there's anything that is not "cukup", then, "cukupilah". Dengan ikhlas and quietly. Because that's what a union is all about. Mencukupi antara satu sama lain. Because I do everything dengan ikhlas. Kalau tak ikhlas, memang I tak buat.
And mind the words. A picture might be worth a thousand words. But one word is enough to hurt. But then, I've been hurt so many times before. Just wish I am hard enough inside.
So, after laundry and some cleaning, I headed to the school at 9.20am to fetch her back. So I waited. At 10am, the Std 3 pupils finished theirs. And I waited. Since Aliyah brought her handphone, I went back home for a while to send something home. I went back to the school and waited. And waited. Finally, she finished her activities at 11.20am. A full 2 hours later.
You might wonder why I kept on waiting even though Aliyah has her handphone with her. I don't know. It is a Saturday and I don't feel like really thinking. I just sat, waited and switched off my thoughts. I just stared at one spot. But most importantly, I always want to reach the school before she comes out. It'll be a pity to let her wait in the heat. What I wish to see most? That look on her face when she sees me waiting for her. That smile of joy and happiness. I can trade nothing for that look.
Then, straight away for lunch since having breakfast is no longer an option for me. Next, up to the office for her to take a bath and get ready for tuition. Then, off to get her drinks and bread for her break time at tuition. Then, send her to school. Then, back to the office. This heat is draining my energy... And I have work to do.
It really is difficult to be a mother, a wife and having own business at the same time. Really. I have no maid at home to help with house chores. So, I do laundry - the washing and the folding and the ironing, I cook, clean... Doesn't seem much at one sentence, but tiring. But I still do it. Often, I can't even sit after coming back from work. By the time I sit, "Nada Cinta" yang Aliyah loves so much tu dah more than halfway through.
That's why if there's anything that is not "cukup", then, "cukupilah". Dengan ikhlas and quietly. Because that's what a union is all about. Mencukupi antara satu sama lain. Because I do everything dengan ikhlas. Kalau tak ikhlas, memang I tak buat.
And mind the words. A picture might be worth a thousand words. But one word is enough to hurt. But then, I've been hurt so many times before. Just wish I am hard enough inside.
Comments