Living with Sarah

Last night for the first time in the past month, I got to sleep through the night without coughing. Alhamdulillah... bestnya dapat tidur lena. I am worried because if my cough still persists, I need to go for chest x-ray next week. My research on the Net on my symptoms jumpa macam-macam scary diseases from pneumonia to bronchitis and even lung cancer! Nauzubillah... And my heart pun dah heal sikit... Even though I still have all these disturbing thoughts about what that woman said and her SMSes, I believe I need to put my trust on my hubby. Especially since all the while that so-called "relationship" happened, there was never even a dent in the love that hubby showered me and my daughter. It's difficult for me but I have put a closure to that heartbreaking chapter of my married life. Hubby MMS me that woman's photo. I replied: "The one in tudung? Is she also dark and short?". (Dah lah pakai tudung, dah kahwin pulak tu, sibuk nak kejar laki orang whom she fee...

Hari ni I dengar this song on the radio. Adala sikit-sikit sesuai. So, hari ni I nak buat permintaan lagu, ala macam kat radio tu kan... Ok, lagu ini I nak tujukan pada seorang counter staff yang berada di negeri yang ada Bandaraya Bersejarah dengan ucapan, sudah-sudahlah tu stop calling, smsing and harassing my husband. Husband I sekuman pun tak ada hati kat you selama ni dia kesian je and tak nak you malu pasal dok terhegeh-hegeh kejar dia ye. He's a happily married to me ok. Lagi satu ucapan I, you bernasib baik sebab wifey orang yang you dok kejar tu sangatlah penyabar, baik hati dan gorgeous orangnya (akak suka, akak suka...). Kalau terkena macam Cik Latifah ke, Cik Hasnah yang macam singa betina tu, haaa, mau mata you kena korek. Ucapan ini I akhiri dengan nasihat, you jaga lah suami you kat rumah tu baik-baik ya. Berdosa perempuan dah kahwin cari jantan lain tau. Nanti, orang lain pulak kebas laki you, baru you tau. Oh ya, lupa lak, lagi satu, hubby I memang la officer tapi ...

My posting: Do I Really Know Him? I was destined to meet E that day, to listen to her, to learn from her... It was one of the signs. Perhaps me being patient and composed when facing this test is because of my meeting with her. She taught me to be strong, to face the problem with pride and class. And most importantly, to know that I'm never at the losing end. Thanks E...

Aliyah has new passion - origami. Actually, it's more of asking people to do origami for her. It started with Aunty Hajar lending her an origami book for the holidays. Ever since, our office has this origami fever. We have been doing origami for the past 3 days. We have been folding tortises, frogs, birds, flowers, boxes and balloons for Aliyah. Kinda interesting and challenging actually. Yesterday, even Caspian joined the fun. Origami amidst Aliyah's Barbie dolls

All parents have high hopes for their kids. And with high hopes come high expectations. When Aliyah started her kindy, I had high expectations. She is very smart and have all the makings of a straight A student. When her exam results came back, she's not the top of the class. I scrutinized her test papers and I know if she is a little bit careful, she can get better results. A little bit more careful, a little bit more patience, a little bit more thinking... After that, I scraped off that high expectations and replace it with - I want her to learn and have fun. Of course that high hopes and expectations are still there somewhere. Anyway, she's in the 4th class. Early this year she was so very rajin going to school. The second half, however, she started her old habits of not wanting to go to school, especially on Mondays. If she cut school, I would take her to the office and got her to do some exercises. So, she still learns even though it's just half an hour of simple lesso...

It's already been 2 weeks. I'm over seeing a doctor. Yesterday went to a pharmacist. A different one this time. So, now I'm on another round of antibiotics plus chesty cough syrup pulak. Last night I wonder why this time I'm sick for so long. Maybe it's true that one's bodily functions tie closely to one's spirits. My spirits are up and down these days.

I thank friends who expressed their concerns over my postings last week. It's amazing how friendship blossoms over these ramblings. Your kind words gave me strength. I obviously won't detail out what happened. Just that I'm OK now than I was last week. And my marriage is as strong as ever. People make mistakes. I have forgiven, but have not forgotten. I used to read or hear these kind of things, especially about women who don't really care whether the men they are pursuing are married or not. Wrecking other people's marriage is not of their concern. Married men seem to be more appealing. Now it actually happened to me and it's scary to experience this first hand. I was devastated when I got to know. I felt like my world came tumbling down. My heart hurts so much I wonder if it was a heart attack. At times when I was driving with my daughter next to me, I thought if something were to happen to both of us, then it will serve him right. I was sick and the heartache...

I'm still having this dreadful cough. Can't get decent sleep at night. And my days are full of coughings and cough syrups and lozenges. I've slurped 3 different bottles of cough syrups, tonnes of different brands of lozenges not to mention doses of antibiotics. I've also taken drinks of honey mixed with lemon. No ice for the past 2 weeks only warm water. Help.

My pillar of strength...

My viral fever has passed, but my cough and tonsil are killing me. I took 4 trips to the doctor for the last 10 days. I can't sleep and I eat like a bird. Maybe my body is refusing the medications.

My heart hurts. Did someone just rip it off my chest and throw it into a dustbin?

I now realize the signs were everywhere but I was blind, I didn't see. Now, how does one mend a broken heart?

I just had the worst viral fever ever. And after 5 days, still not so well...